


Now, That I Need You

by exitthequitters



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 02:40:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6593407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exitthequitters/pseuds/exitthequitters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Jordie and Jason gave me a dollar each.” Tyler says with a smile. “Kari only gave me a nickel.” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“What are they giving you money for?” Jamie shakes his head at Tyler.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“So I could buy ice cream!” Tyler hits him gently with his spoon. “Most of the guys just gave me money but some of them said I should tell a joke first so I told them the one about oranges and bananas.” </i>
</p>
<p>Or, a fic in which Tyler is Tiny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now, That I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> when i started this fic, patrick still played for the hawks. this takes place during the 14/15 season, just so you know.  
> Title from Justin Bieber, because that felt appropriate.  
> also thanks to mallory and elysa for all the help

Jamie honks the car horn as soon as he pulls up to Tyler’s house. He woke up late from his pregame nap and his whole routine is off. They’ll be lucky if they make it to the arena on time. Tyler comes rushing out wearing just his button down and a pair of sweatpants.

“Are you serious?” Jamie asks, once Tyler’s standing by the open window of the car. Tyler flushes and shrugs. “We have to be at the arena in half an hour and you’re not ready to go?”

“My pants were wrinkled.” Tyler explains. “You might as well come in.”

Jamie groans but follows Tyler inside. He’s sidetracked with petting Marshall and Cash but Tyler barrels past them to the laundry room. “Will you grab me a tie?” He calls. “And maybe a protein shake?”

“We’re going to be late!” Jamie yells back, but he heads upstairs anyways, and grabs the first tie he finds in Tyler’s mess of a closet. It’s dark blue with polka dots. 

“Dude, we’re always way early anyways. I think it’ll be okay.” Tyler’s put on his slacks while Jamie was gone and now he’s playing keep away with Cash and his socks. “I don’t think I’ve ever worn that tie.”

“I’m not grabbing a different one.” Jamie says, turning away from where Tyler’s looking in the hall mirror, tying his tie. He makes two protein shakes quickly, throwing one to Tyler on his way out the door. “I’ll leave you here.”

“I’m coming, calm down.” Tyler kisses the dogs on the head before following Jamie out. “Hey, wait.” he calls, stopping on the front porch to look at Jamie. “Do I look okay?”

Tyler’s squinting from the sunlight and his pants are still a little wrinkled. His hair is sticking up at a weird angle and he looks paler than usual. Tyler smiles as Jamie continues to stare at him.

“Yeah, man. You look fine.” Jamie shakes his head. “Can we go now?” 

“I should wear this tie all the time, it looks great on me.” Tyler says over the wind ripping through the open windows and the techno blaring through the speakers. He has the visor pulled down and he’s stroking his beard in the mirror. 

Jamie turns the music down and rolls up the windows. “Ritchie’s back with the A, so Eaves is going to be back on a line with us.” 

“Okay?” Tyler says, wincing as he chugs his shake. 

“So, he plays a different style from Ritchie and we should be prepared!” Jamie insist, watching Tyler roll his eyes.

“Bro, we’ve played with Eaves before and it went fine. Maybe we should try to get him a goal, but that’s it.” Tyler turns up the radio and Jamie sighs and ignores Tyler’s squawking as he turns it off completely. “Dude, what’s up with you today?”

“We need a win tonight.” Jamie answers simply. 

“Sure, but freaking yourself out won’t help.” Tyler argues. “You’re just going to make yourself all tense during the game and that doesn’t help anybody.”

“Season’s almost over.” Jamie mumbles.

“It’s February.” Tyler protest. “We have some breathing room, so breathe.”

“You’ve been acting weird too, you know?” Jamie turns into the parking garage and watches Tyler try to hide a blush. “What’s up with that?”

“Maybe I’m coming down with something.” Tyler answers.

“Well, see if one of the doctors will look at you before the game, okay?” Jamie looks at the clock on the dashboard. They’re still early, but not as early as Jamie would like to be.

“Sure thing, Cap.” Tyler replies. He slams the car door and doesn’t wait for Jamie to catch up as he heads inside. 

-

It’s Friday the thirteenth, a game against the Panthers, and Jamie’s not paying attention when Tyler goes down. They’re up by two with less than ten minutes left in the game, and Tyler’s carrying the puck into the zone, before throwing a pass to Jamie. He turns his head away from Tyler, taking a shot that goes just a little too wide, and play is being stopped. Tyler’s lying face down on the ice, clutching his knee tightly. Jamie’s too far away to see what’s wrong, or if Tyler is going to get up. Golly’s trying to fight someone, Jamie’s not sure who, but the refs seems to have it covered so Jamie skates over to Tyler. One of the trainers pushes him away before they get Tyler up and off the ice gently, his face screwed up in pain, and Lindy stops him when he tries to follow.

“Wait ‘til the games over at least, Benn.” Lindy says with a shake of his head. Jamie sighs, but now’s not the time to argue with the coach. 

He’s hoping to see Tyler in the locker room after the final buzzer, hoping that the hit wasn’t as bad as the aftermath had made it seem. Except Tyler isn’t in his stall and knee injuries are always terrible. Lindy stands at the front of the room and waits for the room to calm down enough for him to speak. “We’ve got an early flight and a game in Colorado tomorrow. We’re on a tight schedule so don’t be late, I will leave you in Dallas. Jamie, the hat?” 

“This is an obvious one.” Jamie takes the cowboy hat out of the back of his stall and throws it to an unexpecting Kari. “Unbelievable tonight, Kari.”

“Thanks for a good game, boys.” Kari says, his cheeks flushed and the hat perched on his head.

Jamie tries to escape to check on Tyler but Lindy pulls him back. “I know, I know, but the video team has some footage to go over. And if Tyler’s going to be out for a while then we need to work out how to fill in for him.” Lindy says. Jamie wants to argue, that they don’t know how long Tyler’s going to be out, but he’s trying to be a good captain.

So they retreat to Lindy’s office as media slowly trickles into the room, and Jamie watching through the window as Kari’s surrounded by the media scrum. Val and Antoine are throwing balled up stick tape at each other and Vern is trying to hide Colton’s hat without Colton noticing. Lindy sighs when he realizes Jamie’s not listening. “Okay, we can figures this out at skate tomorrow. Get some rest, yeah?”

“You too, Coach.” Jamie replies. Lindy snorts and turns back to his computer, already pulling up some game footage.

It’s late when Jamie finally gets to the trainer's room. The team doctor is sitting at the computer in the corner, eyebrows furrowed. Jamie doesn’t see Tyler.

“Jamie, thank god.” The doctor says frantically. Jamie’s met the man before, of course he has, but he usually gets pain meds right after and always forgets the doctor’s name. It feels too late to ask him now. 

“Is Tyler okay? Where is he?” Jamie asks. It’s never a good sign when a doctor looks flustered.

“Technically, yes, he is okay. I don’t know for sure, but-” The doctor starts to say before he is interrupted by a tiny boy tackling Jamie’s legs.

“Jamie!” The boy yells happily. He’s smiling up at Jamie and holding on to his legs tightly, all while drowning in a Seguin jersey. It’s the most adorable thing he’s ever seen but Jamie is pretty confused. 

“Hey, little man, how did you get back here?” Jamie crouches down to look at the kid who immediately starts jumping to climb all over Jamie. 

“I was playing hockey.” He says when he finally gets settled. He’s standing between Jamie’s knees with his hands on Jamie’s shoulders so they’re eye level. He’s still smiling brightly and Jamie is so glad he doesn’t have to deal with a lost, crying child. “But then my knee got hurt but it’s all better now.”

“His knee is better now.” The doctor pipes up from the corner he’s retreated to. He’s back at the computer, but watching Jamie and the child closely. 

Jamie looks from the kid to the doctor to the empty room. “What’s going on? Where’s Tyler?” 

The kids smile fades and he pouts up at Jamie. “That’s not funny, Jamie.” 

“What’s not funny?” 

“I’m right here!” The boy whines, hitting his hands against Jamie’s shoulders.

“One minute we were trying to figure out what’s wrong with his knee,” the doctor says, “the next he’s… small.” 

The kid taps Jamie’s cheek to get his attention. “You didn’t forget me, did you? We’re best friends.” 

Jamie looks at the kid, really looks at him. He looks so familiar. “...Tyler?”

The kid - Tyler, Jamie has to assume - nods happily up at him. “Did we win the game?” 

“Of course we did.” Jamie answers. He moves on autopilot, pulling out his phone to call Fidds. 

Tyler starts hopping around the room. “‘Cause we’re the best!” He yells. “They wouldn’t let me watch but I could hear everyone screaming, I bet you did great, Jamie -” 

Tyler’s still babbling when Fidds answers. “Hey Chubbs, what’s up?”

“Hey, I need you to get back here.” Jamie says quickly. Tyler stops talking when he notices that Jamie’s not listening. He looks mad but he sits down on one of the beds in the room and waits patiently.

“I’m, like, halfway to Frisco, can it wait?” Fidds says annoyed and, oh right, he has a family and life. Now Jamie feels bad.

“I guess not, I think I can handle it or I can call someone else.” Jamie says quickly.

“Nah, I already turned around. So, what’s the emergency?” Fidds asks and Jamie can hear Fidd’s brakes screeching as he probably makes a u-turn. 

“Just call me when you get here.”

-

Fidds meets them in the parking garage. He takes one look at Tyler, holding Jamie’s hand and smiling at everything, and sighs heavily. “Did you steal a child or something? Did you steal a fan?” Vern ducks down and pokes Tyler’s new t-shirt, making Tyler giggle.

They found some clothes for Tyler at the fan shop so he doesn’t have to wear his giant jersey. Tyler was thrilled by the “‘Lil Stars Fan” t-shirt and victory green pajama pants. It’s starting to warm up in Dallas but Tyler is so small that Jamie is worried about him getting hypothermia anyways and wrapped him up in a jacket. 

“Apparently this is Tyler.” Jamie pushes Tyler gently towards Fidds. 

“Hi, Fidds!” Tyler walks up to Vern and hugs his legs before jumping back to Jamie side.

“The doctor said they were checking on his knee and then he was a five year old. But his knee is okay.” Jamie explains.

“That’s just great.” Fidds replies, voice numb. Jamie knows that feeling. He’s keeping all his panic on the inside to keep from scaring Tyler. “Why, though? Also what do we do with him?” 

“I googled it.” Jamie nods and Fidds gestures for him to continue. “These things happen, I guess. Usually when the person is feeling something they can’t deal with. I thought Tyler was fine, but maybe he doesn’t tell me everything. He should just go back to normal eventually though.”

“Why doesn’t he have any shoes on?” Fidds asks.

“The fan shop doesn’t sell shoes.” Jamie explains. They had found little socks for Tyler with little Stars logos on them. 

“Well, what do you need from me?” Fidds bends down and picks up Tyler’s foot and hold it against the palm of his hand, ignoring Tyler trying to balance on one foot. “We have some old shoes that’ll fit. They probably light up, how does that sound buddy?”

Tyler practically shrieks with excitement, bouncing around and prattling on about shoes. 

“I figured you could take him. You’ve got kids.” Jamie looks down at Tyler again. They’re supposed to be on a plane in less than twelve hours and his liney is small and Jamie needs to sleep. At least Tyler seems to be wearing himself out.

“I want to stay with you, Jamie.” Tyler says loudly. He bounds back over to Jamie and hold his arms up until Jamie picks him up and tucks Tyler to his side. Jamie turns his head so Tyler can whisper in his ear, “I don’t want to go with Fidds.”

Fidds laughs loudly, echoing around the empty parking garage, and Tyler tucks himself into Jamie’s neck.

“Could you at least tell me how to take care of a child?” Jamie asks. Tyler yawns big and loud before closing his eyes. 

-

Vern drives Jamie and Tyler to Walmart. It’s after midnight, and Jamie was always told to never go to Walmart after midnight, but these are desperate times. Fidds picks Tyler up and sits him down in the cart while Tyler cheers. His nap on the ride over seemed to have done him some good. Now he’s looking around with wide, bright eyes.

“Okay, are you going to go on the roadie with us, Tyler?” Fidds asks as he starts pushing the cart, Jamie close behind. 

“Yes!” Tyler yells, pumping his fists in the air. “Let’s go play hockey!”

“You can’t play hockey, Ty, you don’t have any skates.” Jamie murmurs, because it’s an easier explanation. Jamie can’t tell if Tyler knows there’s something wrong. He knows where he is, knows he plays for the Stars, knows the team apparently. Jamie thinks if it was him he’d be freaking out or worried or confused or something but Tyler seems okay.

Except now he doesn’t. Now he’s pouting up at Jamie and looking three steps from crying. This is the second time Jamie’s made Tyler pout. “I can’t play with you, Jamie?” he says, his voice small.

“Of course you can, Tyler!” Vern says quickly. Tyler snaps his eyes from Jamie to Fidds. “But only if you behave on our roadie, can you do that?” Tyler nods quickly and smiles up at Fidds. “Now let's find you some light up shoes.”

“I thought you said you had an old pair for him.” Jamie mumbles.

“Don’t be stingy, Chubbs. Buy the kid his own pair of shoes.” Vern rolls his eyes at him.

“Am I paying for all of this?” Jamie asks, suddenly feeling out of his element. He’s never had a child before but he hears they’re expensive. 

“I’m not paying for it, I have my own kids to worry about.” Fidds answers. “You’ve got the money anyways. Now, shoes.” 

They do find light up shoes. They’re red with racecars on them. Jamie laces the shoes up for Tyler and stands back while Tyler jumps around, watching the lights flash on the floor. Tyler tries to jump back into the cart but he’s not tall enough so Jamie places him gently back inside. Tyler doesn’t seem to have an opinion of any of the clothes Fidds put in the cart but he does pick them up and rub the soft fabrics over his face.

“Do we really need this much stuff?” Jamie asks. Tyler shows him one of the stars shirts they found, smiling while he holds the shirt to his chest. 

“Do you know how long he is going to be little?” Vern asks. Jamie frowns and Tyler reaches forward to touch the furrow between his brows. “We’ll be gone for a few days and it easier to take stuff than buy it when you realize you need it.”

“Alright, Ty, what do you like to eat?” Jamie asks, trying to remember if there’s any food in his house right now. Probably a lot of frozen meat and not much else. 

“I like cheese pizza, and goldfish, and lemonade.” Tyler ticks off on his fingers while his list grows and grows. Vern throws things in the cart as they walk through the aisles. Tyler claps happily when one of his favorites is added.

“We can’t eat any of this.” Jamie objects quietly. He’s not sure what he can and can’t say to avoid making Tyler pout. He’s never been good at sad Tyler.

“Five year old’s don’t have diets, Chubbs.” Vern says sternly. 

“Yeah, Chubbs!” Tyler giggles happily as Jamie looks at him offended. 

“We should go.” Fidds starts pushing the cart with Tyler towards the exit. “We’ve been in this Walmart way too long.”

-

It isn’t until Jordie is knocking on his front door that Jamie realizes he’s going to have to explain what happened to Tyler multiple times today. There’s no way around it, but Jamie’s going to try anyways.

“Where’s Jason? I thought we were all riding together today?” Jamie asks, trying to distracted his brother. 

“He was taking too long, and I know how much you hate being late. He’ll just meet us there, no problem.” Jordie replies, pushing past Jamie into the house.

Jordie see’s Tyler immediately, the little guy’s asleep on the couch, wrapped completely in a blanket Jamie’s mom gave him when he moved to Dallas. Jamie tried to wake him up, but Tyler climbed under the bed in the guest room with his blanket and pillow and went back to sleep. Jamie figures it’ll just be easier to carry a sleeping Tyler around then put up with a grumpy, awake Tyler. 

“Why do you have a child?” Jordie picks up the backpack Tyler had picked out the night before and starts rifling through it. Which, Jamie put a lot of effort into making sure everything Tyler could need for a plane ride fit in one bag and Jordie is ruining his hard work. 

“That’s Tyler’s, we have to bring him in case he changes back and can play.” Jamie snatches the backpack from Jordie and puts it in a pile with the rest of the luggage. 

“Does Tyler need crayons because he is currently a child?” Jordie asks. He sits down on the coffee table facing Tyler.

“Yeah, that’s right. I wouldn’t wake him if I were you.” Jamie replies. “Do you want to carry him or the luggage?”

Jordie looks up at him with wide eyes. “I can’t carry him! What if I drop him? What if he wakes up and starts crying?” 

“Jordie, it’s still Tyler, what are you freaking out about?” Jamie gently lifts a still sleeping Tyler into his arms, making sure the blanket is still wrapped tight around him.

“Kids hate me. Like all kids immediately hate me. I think it’s the beard.” Jordie looks sad, which is ridiculous in Jamie’s opinion. 

“Anyways.” Jamie says quickly. “We should go.”

Jordie perks up again. “Do you have a car seat for the little tyke?”

“Obviously. I’m trying to keep him alive.” Jamie waits for Jordie to open the car door before carefully buckling Tyler in the way Fidds showed him. 

“This is all so cute. I’m so excited. I’m going to be the cool uncle.” Jordie slams his car door and immediately starts fiddling with the knobs and buttons in Jamie’s car. Jordie, as a rule, has always been louder and more energetic than Jamie. It has never, ever, been an issue, but now they have a small, sleep deprived child in the back seat. Jamie turns the radio volume down and ignores Jordie’s glare.

“I really am going to need your help with Tyler.” Jamie glances at Tyler in the rearview mirror while he drives. So far being a pseudo-parent hasn’t been that bad, maybe because Tyler is an easy kid or maybe because Jamie is good at this, but he’s waiting for the meltdown. 

“I already told you, kids hate me.” Jordie slouches down in his seat as he sulks over all the kids in his life that hate his beard. 

“I hate you, but I’m still asking for help.” Jamie says simply. 

“I’d punch you, but you’d crash the car.” Jordie sits straight up in his seat. “You’re responsible for a life now. That’s a big deal.”

“Anyways, I can probably handle Tyler, at least for now, but if you could tell the rest of the team.” Jamie tries to slip into his captain voice so Jordie can tell he’s being serious. Except he doesn’t really have a captain voice so Jordie just snorts. “Also, I don’t think anyone outside of the Stars should know about this so if you could help with that, too.” 

“You didn’t tell the team? Why didn’t you put it in the group text or something? I’ll do it for you, no big.” Jordie pulls his phone out and starts typing while he speaks. “Segs is a child now but he’s asleep so shhh.”

“Thank you, Jordie, that’s very helpful.” Jamie sighs. The ride is quiet after that, Jordie fielding texts from the group chat and Jamie driving more cautiously than usual. They get to the airport early, because Jamie is a leader and a good influence, but also because Jamie wants to get Tyler on the plane before anyone else shows up. 

Jamie sits little Tyler in big Tyler’s usual seat. “Do you think he’d still want me to sit with him? Maybe he wants to sit alone or with someone else?” 

“Please, Chubbs.” Jordie throws his carry on in his seat and walks over to Tyler. “It’s still Tyler, like you said.”

Tyler finally wakes up just as Jamie sees some of the guys walking up through the plane window. Jordie’s outside, waving his arms around spastically as he talks to Demers. Tyler tugs gently on Jamie’s sleeve and Jamie snaps his attention to the child sitting next to him. “Plane, Jamie?” 

“Yeah, we’ll take off pretty soon.” Jamie answers. Tyler rearranges himself so he’s leaning against Jamie’s side, the blanket over both of their laps. “The guys are on the way, are you excited to see them?”

Tyler perks up next to him. “I’m excited to see Jordie, and Val, and Jason and and,” Tyler then names everyone on the team, counting them on his fingers. At least he doesn’t play favorites. His face screws up when he gets to the end and he looks up at Jamie expectantly. “Who else?”

“You got everyone, good job.” Jamie answers holding his hand out for a high five. 

“And you, Jamie! I’m excited to see you!” Tyler grabs Jamie’s hand and waves it around.

“You see me all the time, it can’t still be exciting.” Jamie looks down at Tyler shaking his head.

“That’s wrong, Jamie.” Tyler says, as seriously as a five year old can. 

“Sorry, Ty.” Jamie replies, trying to hold in a laugh. Tyler nods next to him. “Hey, did you want to play a game?” Tyler perks up in his seat and looks Jamie in the eyes. “When you see Jordie, pretend to be scared of him and tell him it’s his beard. Can you do that?” 

Tyler ducks down in his seat. “There he is!” Tyler whispers. Jamie looks to the front of the plane to see Jordie walking down the aisle with Demers close behind.

“Hey lil’ Segs!” Jason calls. He sits down in the seat in front of them looking over the back at Tyler, Jordie at his side. Tyler plays his part well, sinking down in his seat and staring at Jordie with wide eyes. Tyler pulls the blanket up so only his eyes and the top of his head are peeking out the top and Jordie’s face falls when he see him. 

“What’s wrong, Segs? Is Chubbs being mean? Does he smell bad?” Jordie asks quickly. Tyler slinks farther away the longer Jordie talks. 

“It’s just,” Tyler says softly, “you’re beard. It’s so..”

“Ugly.” Jamie finishes for him. Jordie reaches forward and smacks the back of his head and starts ruffling Jamie’s hair while Demers cackles loudly. Tyler starts jumping in his seat trying to slap Jordie’s hand away.

“Leave Jamie alone!” Tyler shouts, loud enough that everyone on the plane - the whole team by this point, and most of the staff - turns and looks at them. 

“Come on, Ty. Let's go say hi to everyone.” Jamie holds Tyler’s hand as they walk through the plane. They stop to talk to everyone, Tyler happily chatting and hugging people as they make their way through the plane. Most of their teammates look at them with wide eyes, but pretend everything is normal for Tyler’s sake. It’s time for the plane to take off by the time Jamie steers them back to their seats. Tyler’s asleep by the time they reach cruising altitude. 

“Should he be asleep right now?” Jamie asks, leaning over the aisle to talk to Fidds. “Won’t he stay up all night if he sleeps now?”

Fidds just rolls his eyes and goes back to his movie.

-

The team gets to Colorado with enough time for a quick skate before the game. Tyler throws a fit on the bench as soon as he sees Jamie on the ice. He tries to jump the gate and hits the trainer that holds him back. He wants to skate and he wants to skate now and there’s really nothing Jamie can do about it. He’s tempted to go buy a pair of tiny skates just to calm Tyler down, but Fidds swoops in and saves the day. 

“You promised you’d be good on our roadie, remember Tyler?” Vern says sternly. He leans down so he can look Tyler in the eye. Tyler looks sadly up at Fidds and nods. “Is this how good kids behave?” He waits for Tyler to shake his head. “That’s right. And I think you know what to do to fix it.”

Tyler looks up at Jamie. “I’m sorry for yelling, Jamie. And I’m sorry for not listening to you. And for hitting people.” 

“It’s alright.” Jamie says softly. He’s honestly surprised Tyler accepted all that nonsense Fidds said. “Don’t do it again.” Jamie adds when Fidds doesn’t stop glaring at him. Fidds nods approvingly. Tyler hugs him from where he’s standing up on the bench. “We’ll go skating together when we get back to Dallas.” Jamie whispers. 

“Can we get back to practice, boys?” Lindy asks exasperatedly. Jamie ruffles Tyler’s hair and then skates back to join the team, Fidds by his side. 

“The hell was that?” Jamie asks. “How’d you get him to calm down?” 

“I put on the stern dad voice. Kids can’t help but fear it. You’ve probably got one too.” Fidds smiles widely at him but drops it when he sees the look on Jamie’s face. “Tyler will listen to you, he just has to know you’re being serious. Stand your ground, you know?”

“What if I make him seriously mad or upset or something?” Jamie wonders allowed. He keeps imagining Tyler screaming until he loses his voice, or running back to Canada to be with his actual parents with just his backpack. 

“I don’t think it’s possible for you to upset him, Chubbs. That’s why he’ll listen, because he wants you to be happy.” Vern claps him on the back. “Stop worrying, he’ll be fine. We’ve got a game tonight.” 

Jamie snaps back at that, sinking into Captain Mode, where hockey is his sole focus. He’s back to practicing like he means it, trying to get back into the mindset of winning. He still remembers to skate by Tyler every now and then, handing him spare pucks and tapping him softly on the head with his stick. Tyler’s whole face lights up every time. 

-

They lose, which happens, but Jamie still feels bad about it. They put Tyler in the press box with some of the writers while they play but he manages to beat them back to the locker room. He sits quietly in Jamie’s stall while Jamie showers and gets his stuff together. Jamie picks Tyler up and sets him on his knees. Tyler holds Jamie’s face between his hands and looks him deep in the eyes. 

“You did very good, Jamie.” Tyler says seriously. He shakes Jamie’s face from side to side. “I’m sorry you didn’t win.” 

“We didn’t win, Segs.” Jordie pipes up from where he’s sitting next to Demers. “There’s no I in team.” 

“What does that mean?” Tyler asks Jamie.

“Don’t worry about it, bud.” Jamie says. He smooths Tyler’s hair out of his face and smiles down at him. “And we’ll get them next time, yeah?” 

“Yeah, cause we’re the best.” Tyler leans against Jamie’s chest and hugs him tight. 

-

They have an off-day in St. Louis and Jordie pulls the Uncle card and takes Tyler for the day. Jamie spends the day half-heartedly watching game tape from the last game and obsessively checking his phone. He keeps getting snapchats from Jordie of Tyler at an aquarium, smiling widely in front of brightly colored fish.

Jordie and Tyler finally make it back in time for mandatory team dinner at the hotel restaurant. Jamie’s already sitting with some of the team, boxed in by Val and Eaks, when Tyler hops into his lap, kicking Jamie’s shins with his little feet.

“Jamie, I missed you!” He wraps his arms around Jamie’s neck. “Jordie took me to see fish and we had ice cream even though it’s cold out.” Tyler twists around so he’s facing the table and starts eating the bread. “I wanted you to come but Jordie said he doesn’t like you and I told him that was mean and he said adults get to be mean. Is that true?”

“Of course that’s not true, Ty.” Jamie answers quickly. “Don’t listen to Jordie, he lies about everything, and lying is wrong. Just ask Val.” Val looks up at the sound of his name and Tyler looks at him expectantly. “Adults don’t get to be mean, right Val?” 

“Okay.” Val says, frowning at Jamie. 

Tyler giggles. “Val’s not an adult, Jamie!” Val frowns harder at Tyler.

“Older than you.” Val grumbles.

“Nuh uh, you’re a rookie and I’m not a rookie.” Tyler argues. Jamie lets them bicker until a waitress comes to take their order. 

“Ty, why don’t you sit over by Jordie so you can eat?” Jamie say, patting Tyler’s leg so he’ll hop off his lap.

Tyler immediately turns to look at him with wide eyes. “But I don’t want to sit with Jordie, I want to sit with you.” 

“I’ll move.” Eaks interjects quickly. He stands and moves to one of the open seats, laughing as he goes. Most of the table is watching them now, which Jamie is realizing is a theme with Tyler, big or small. 

“What?” Jamie asks as Tyler leaps into his new seat. He scoots the chair closer to Jamie and the table cracks up.

“Nothing, man, nothing.” Spezza says, but he’s still laughing like this is hysterical. 

“Jamie,” Tyler asks, pulling on the sleeve of Jamie’s button down. “Will you play tic tac toe with me?” He holds out a green crayon for Jamie and pushes the kids menu closer. 

Jamie lets Tyler win one game and tie a second by the time the food comes. 

-

Lindy works them hard at practice, mad about their last loss. Tyler still can’t skate and he’s still mad about it, but he’s quiet, glaring at Fidds whenever he skates by. He sits with one of the assistant coaches, doodling on a white board. Jamie waits until everyone is off the ice after practice and lets Tyler sit on his shoulders while he skates slow laps around the rink. Tyler holds onto Jamie’s helmet, laughing and screaming when Jamie speeds up a bit, until an equipment manager shows up to scold them. 

“I learned a lot today.” Tyler says when they’re on the bus to the hotel. He’s sitting with his back against the window and his legs in Jamie’s lap. 

“Did you?” Jamie asks. 

Tyler hits his feet together to watch his shoes light up. “Yes, I did. I’m going to help the team even though I can’t play.”

“Really? How are you going to do that?” Jamie’s honestly touched by how much Tyler seems to love the team. 

“I’m going to take really good notes and then you can give them to Mr. Lindy and then the team will be so good and we’ll win all the time!” Tyler throws his arms around himself, his Star’s hoodie swallowing him. “I have a really good view, Jamie. I can see the whole game.”

“Yeah? Do you cheer really loud?” Jamie pulls Tyler’s hood over his head. He likes the thought of Tyler cheering for him.

Tyler nods quickly. “I screamed so loud when you got that assist that everyone else told me to be quiet. They were all Avs fans though. I told them we were better but they just laughed at me.” Tyler leans forward to wrap himself around Jamie. “Can I play hockey with you again soon, Jamie?”

“I told you, we can go skating when we get back to Dallas.” Jamie pushes Tyler’s hair off his face so he can see Tyler’s eyes. He looks sad but he’s not pouting.

“No, Jamie, I want to play with the whole team. I want to be on the team again.” Tyler buries his face in Jamie’s side. 

“You’re always on the team, Ty.” Jamie tells him. Tyler doesn’t show his face until they’re back to the hotel. Jamie’s pretty sure he’s asleep.

-

Jamie gets a hat trick against the Blues. His first hat trick. It’s stupid and he knows it, but he swears he can see a tiny Tyler jumping around in the press box. The only way it could be better is if Tyler was on the ice with him, crashing into him after every goal. 

Tyler’s waiting in Jamie’s stall when he makes it to the locker room, screaming and losing his mind. He launches himself at Jamie as soon as he is close enough, and Jamie has to struggle to hold onto the squirming child.

“You did so good, Jamie!” Tyler yells, loud enough for the whole team to hear. They clap and cheer and Tyler yells louder with them. He wraps himself closer around Jamie and keeps babbling about the game. “That goal in the first was so good, Jamie, both goals in the first were good, I knew you’d get a hat trick cause you’re the best!” Jamie puts Tyler back in his locker and starts packing up his equipment while Tyler keeps talking. “And I know I said I was going to take notes so the team could get better but I don’t think you’ll need them.”

“There is always room for improvement, Tyler.” Lindy says as he strolls into the room. He has that big smile he gets when the team is doing well, the one that means everyone can relax and enjoy the win. 

Tyler hops out of Jamie’s stall and bounds over to Lindy. “Mr. Lindy, I want to help the team.” Tyler pulls a stack of notebook paper out of his jacket pocket and hands it to Lindy, who has to fight to hold in laughter as he flips through whatever Tyler wrote. 

“Why don’t you show these to your captain. Bet he’d love to read these.” Lindy leans down to hand Tyler back the paper, ruffling Tyler’s hair before pushing him gently back towards Jamie. 

Tyler hands them over and Jamie is immediately shocked by how many there are. He’s less surprised when he sees how big Tyler’s handwriting is, one sentence practically filling the whole page. He’s written with the markers Vern threw in the cart at Walmart while he was trying to explain to Jamie the importance of self expression. He’s switched color on every new page. 

“we have good jerseys.” the first one says, with a drawing of the Stars away jerseys in the corner of the page. “i want to play.” says the next. “JAMIE IS GOOD AT HOCKEY!!!” followed by, “spez is a good liney for jamie but i'm better.” It goes on like that for the whole game. “val is doing a good job.” “why does mr lindy look mad were winning!!” “im glad jordie is my friend he is scary and mean.” “i miss jamie.” “GOOD JOB EAKS!” “blues is a stupid name for a team.” There’s just scribbles when Jamie scored his hatty but the next page says, “im really proud of jamie im glad hes my best friend.” None of it is at all helpful but Jamie is beyond touched. 

“Tyler, buddy.” Jamie gets down on his knees in front of Tyler and wraps his arms around him. 

“What’s wrong, Jamie?” Tyler says as he pets Jamie’s hair.

“Nothing, bud. This is really helpful, thank you.” Jamie leans back and fixes Tyler’s hair. “This is really going to help us win.” Tyler smiles widely up at him. 

-

Tyler spends the plane ride back with a stack of paper and a pack of crayons he politely asked a flight attendant to bring him. He stands on his seat to see through the whole plane until he finds whoever it was he was looking for. Then he plops down and starts drawing. He’s actually kind of good at it for a five year old, and Jamie wonders if adult Tyler loves to draw too and just doesn’t anymore. Or if somehow Jamie just missed it. By the time they touch down in Dallas, Tyler has a neat stack of crayon portraits for everyone on the team. He carefully slips them into his backpack along with his crayons and the rest of the paper before leading Jamie off the plane.

-

They finally make it back to Dallas and Jamie figures the first order of business is to take Tyler to see his dogs. Jason offers to take Tyler off his hands for the night, but he says it where Tyler can hear and he starts crying and going on and on about how Jamie loves him and would never get sick of him. Jason has to apologize and give Tyler some juice before he’ll calm down. Tyler seemed on edge during the drive from the airport and Jamie knows from personal experience that dogs are the best for stress relief.

The dogs start barking as soon as Jamie twist his key in the lock and Tyler’s face lights up. “Dogs, Jamie!” He screams. 

Marshall and Cash jump on Tyler when he walks in, bringing him to the ground. Jamie would be worried but he can hear Tyler’s happy laughter. They lick his face and roll around with them while Tyler tells the dogs all about the roadie they went on and how much fun they had with the team. 

“Are the doggies coming with us to our house, Jamie?” Tyler asks. He’s got one arm around each dog who look perfectly content on protecting their tiny owner. 

“They sure are, buddy. Do you remember their names?” Jamie sits down in front of Tyler and lets the dogs climb all over him as well before retreating back to Tyler. 

“Duh, Jamie. This is Marshall and this is Cash.” He pokes each dog on the head and giggles as they try to lick his hand before he moves it. “And you gave me Cash and I love him so much but not more than Marshall ‘cause that’s mean.”

“That’s right, Ty. Now do you want to help me pack for them?” Tyler nods happily. “Okay, you go get their toys and I’ll get the food.” Tyler hops around the room, picking up the toys one at a time and placing them in the duffel Jamie set out for him. The dogs follow closely behind him, licking his ankles and snapping at the toys in his hands.

They finally make it back to Jamie’s with the dogs. Jamie leaves Tyler to unpack from the roadie in the guest room he’s claimed while Jamie makes lunch. It’s harder than his mom made it look, because Jamie’s not sure what all this kid food Fidds made him buy is, or how much to feed Tyler. Jamie knows that five year olds don’t eat like adult hockey players, thank you very much Fidds, but Jamie also doesn’t want to starve the kid. Eventually he heats up some frozen chicken nuggets for protein and puts them on a plate with a handful of goldfish for whatever nutrients are in goldfish. 

Jamie finds Tyler right where he left him, carefully putting away all his new things in his room. The dogs are lying on the bed, already asleep, but Tyler’s put their beds on the ground in the corner and lined up all their toys next to them. He’s putting all his drawing on the wall with stick tape when Jamie walks in. 

“Decorating, bud?” Jamie asks. Tyler whirls around to look at him, and then makes Jamie pick him up so he can tape some pictures higher up. 

“It looks like me, doesn’t it Jamie?” Tyler asks when they’re done. Jamie’s still holding him tight to his chest, his feet dangling in the air, but Tyler doesn’t seem to mind.

Jamie looks around the room again. It still looks like his boring guest room, but with splashes of Tyler randomly scattered all around. “Yeah, it looks great. Now come eat before your lunch gets cold.”

Jamie eats quietly while Tyler chatters aimlessly about the team. Tyler asks Jamie if he can have a popsicle and Jamie’s tempted to call Vern and asks before figuring that one popsicle won’t ruin Tyler’s life. Except apparently popsicles remind Tyler of ice and he starts back in on how much he wants to go skating. 

“You know what?” Jamie says, interrupting Tyler’s rant about broken promises. “Our next game isn’t until tomorrow night so we could go skating after you finish eating.” Tyler shoves the rest of his melting popsicle in his mouth before running upstairs. He comes barreling back downstairs with his coat and his shoes. 

“Let’s go, Jamie!” He grabs Jamie’s hand and starts pulling him towards the door. Jamie grabs his keys and jacket as he follows Tyler out. “Bye, puppies!”

“Did you want me to call someone to go skating with us? I bet Jordie and Jason could meet us there.” Jamie asks as he straps Tyler into the car seat. He thinks he’s getting pretty good at working the car seat but Tyler still sits patiently while Jamie figures it out. 

“Maybe Jordie and Jason could come next time?” Tyler says softly, looking up at Jamie with wide eyes.

“Sure, Ty. Whatever you want.” Jamie grabs one of the many Stars hats floating around his backseat and puts it on Tyler’s head. The hat is huge on him but Tyler smiles from underneath the rim. 

“Jason said to call Jordie Uncle Jordie but I don’t want to do that.” Tyler says once Jamie gets them on the highway towards Frisco. 

“Definitely don’t do that.” Jamie says. He’s going to have to have a talk with Jason about taking advantage of impressionable teammates. Jamie watches Tyler nod enthusiastically in the rearview mirror. 

“He said it would be funny because it would make you mad and I said that wasn’t funny.” Tyler continues. “Jamie, do Jason and Jordie lie a lot?”

“Why do you ask, bud?” Jamie asks, wondering what other stupid things the team is telling Tyler.

“They just always stay stuff that doesn’t sound right. Like stuff that you wouldn’t say. They were even doing it before.” Tyler grumbles. He’s pouting and Jamie needs to have a talk with his whole team about making Tyler sad and how it needs to stop.

“Before?” Jamie asks. He’s still not sure how much Tyler understands right now but it changes things slightly if he knows he used to be older. Tyler just nods and offers nothing else. Jamie sighs heavily. “Jason and Jordie like to mess around but it’s never to make you upset. I’ll tell them it bothers you and I’m sure they’ll stop.” 

“Thanks, Jamie.” Tyler says. He sounds less like crying but still not like himself. “I just don’t know why they have to lie to me.” 

Jamie turns on the radio, clicking over to one of the stations Tyler put in his presets back when he first came to Dallas. Jamie smiles as Tyler starts singing along. 

They finally get to the Dr. Pepper Center and Tyler starts screaming when he sees the giant Stars logo on the side of the building. It looks like some sort of beginners figure skating class is happening in the main rink so Jamie leads Tyler to an empty smaller rink. Tyler throws his stuff down before rushing off to the skate rental stand. Jamie figures he’s got it covered and pulls out his phone. 

Jordie answers on the second ring. “Hey, Jame. How’s the little guy?”

“Is Jason with you? I need to talk to both of you.” Jamie says quickly. He can see Tyler from here, handing one of his light up shoes to the man at the skate rental, so Jamie needs to scold his brother quickly before Tyler comes back. 

Jordie grumbles about how Jamie never wants to talk to him anymore but then there’s some fumbling and Jason calling out, “Hey, Chubbs!” 

“Hey, y’all got to stop lying to Tyler, okay? It’s dumb and it’s making him sad.” Jamie watches Tyler sit down on the ground and struggle to pull on a pair of skates. 

“We’re just messing with the kid. He knows that.” Jason says. 

“Sure, when he’s twenty-three. But right now he’s five and you’re confusing him.” Jamie sighs. He’s had to talk to teammates who were taking the chirping too far before, but this is different and not exactly Jamie’s job as captain. 

“Hey, Jame, you know we don’t mean to. We don’t want to hurt Tyler’s, like, feelings or anything.” Jordie pipes up and Jamie rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, Jord.” Jamie’s quiet for a second. Tyler’s carefully tying his own laces on his skates. “I think he was trying to tell me something about when he was an adult. Like you said something to him that didn’t make any sense to him.”

“Oh.” Jason says. 

“That.” Jordie adds. 

“You know what he’s talking about?” Jamie asks.

“Yeah, we do.” Jordie mumbles. Jamie watches as Tyler leaps up, balancing precariously on skate blades, and gives the man that helped him a high five. “It’s like this, bro.”

“I’ve got to go, tell me later.” Jamie interrupts. 

“Can we come over for dinner?” Jason yells.

“Sure, it’ll give you a chance to apologize.” Jamie hangs up on Jordie and Jason’s grumbles. 

“Look, Jamie!” Tyler yells when he finally comes barreling up. “I tied them myself.” 

“Wow, good job, Ty.” Jamie bends down to tug on the laces, making sure Tyler did it right. 

“Where are your skates, Jamie?” Tyler says, glaring at the tennis shoes Jamie’s still wearing. “You’re skating with me right?”

“Yeah, little man. You head on out there and I’ll be right behind you.” Jamie replies, pushing Tyler towards the ice. Tyler glares over his shoulder but steps out onto the ice anyways. 

Tyler’s a better skater than Jamie would have thought. He’s not particularly fast or graceful but he has his head up and he hasn’t fallen yet, which Jamie figures is much better than most five year olds. Jamie quickly changes his tennis shoes for skates and follows Tyler onto the ice. 

They didn’t bring any pucks or sticks - not that Jamie has one in Tyler’s size anyways. Jamie didn’t bring his gear and Tyler doesn’t have any. It’s been awhile since Jamie’s just skated around a rink, no pads, no coach, no team, but Tyler demands a race from one end of the rink to the other and Jamie lets him win. Tyler’s smiling and Jamie’s smiling and it’s nothing like being around Tyler usually is, but Jamie still feels the same. 

Eventually the zamboni driver kicks them off the ice and Jamie carries Tyler back to the car. 

“Did you have fun today, bud?” Jamie asks as Tyler buckles himself into his car seat. Jamie checks the straps when he’s done but he’s done a much better job than Jamie would have. 

“Yes, I did, Jamie. I love to skate. Did you have fun?” Tyler says like Jamie is being silly.

“You’re a good skater, Ty. I bet you’re the best on your pee wee team.” Jamie tells Tyler, partly because Jamie loves how Tyler takes a compliment. This time goes a little differently because Tyler buries his face in his hands. 

“Stop it, Jamie.” Tyler replies, his voice loud even behind his hands. “I play for the Stars not on pee wee. I know I was better before but you said I’d always be on the team.” 

Jamie waits until they’re at a red light before turning in his seat to look at Tyler. “Ty, do you remember everything from before? Like from when you’re big?” Tyler shrugs. “Is there something you want to tell me? Do Jason and Jordie know what it is?” 

Tyler crosses his arms over his chest. “The lights green, Jamie. That means you drive.”

Jamie holds back the urge to groan, even as he watches Tyler sulk in the backseat. “You know, you can tell me anything, bud. You’re my best friend, nothing can change that.”

“That’s not what Jordie says.” Tyler says softly. Jamie is going to kill Jordie. 

-

Tyler takes a nap when they get back to the house and he’s still asleep when Jordie and Jason show up for dinner. Jason has a to go box from the Cheesecake Factory and Jordie has a bottle of sparkling apple juice. 

“Why?” Jamie asks as Jason puts the box in his fridge. 

“Dessert!” Jason says. “It’s peanut butter, ‘cause kids love peanut butter.”

“That’s true.” Jordie nods seriously and Jason smiles at him. 

“Y’all -” Jamie starts.

“So how’s being a father?” Jordie interrupts. “Have you told his mom yet?” 

“Yes, I did. She said that she trusts me and to call her if I need anything.” Jamie has a nice chat with Tyler’s mom every night and she texts him throughout the day. Tyler insisted on telling her everything he did that day and saying goodnight before he’ll go to sleep. 

“That’s sweet.” Jason says, looking like he means it. 

“Alright, Jason.” Jordie shakes his head. “Where is Ty, anyways?”

“Taking a nap.” Jamie sighs. They really shouldn’t be waking Tyler yet but Jason and Jordie have that look on their face like they expect more than Jamie’s offering. 

“I’ll go get him!” Jordie shouts. He rushes up the stairs before Jamie can object, leaving Jamie with Jason’s wide smirk. 

“So.” Jason says. And okay, Jason is a good guy and a good teammate and Jordie really seems to like him, but Jamie’s never sure what to say when it’s just the two of them. It’s just that’s Jason is too perceptive. It took him two weeks to move in with Jordie and start bugging Jamie about his love life because he gets people, in a way Jamie never will. Jamie’s pretty sure Jason and Jordie are trying to communicate with him using only facial expressions and Jamie’s misreading all of it. Jason looked at him and knew without anyone having to tell him, and now Jamie’s not sure what there actually is to say. 

“Is now the time, Demers?” Jamie mumbles. He’s a captain, for fucks sake, he shouldn’t be nervous having a casual conversation with a teammate.

“You’re so defensive, man.” Jason says with a giggle. “I was just going to ask what we’re having for dinner.”

“Grilled chicken casserole.” Jamie grumbles. Jason lights up and hops onto the kitchen counter. 

“That’s great, Chubbs.” Jason kicks his feet loudly against the counter. “Now, is it weird living with tiny Tyler?” 

“I’m not really thinking about it.” Jamie pulls dinner out of the oven and sets it down next to Jason. “I’m going to go check on Tyler. Put that on plates for me.”

“You can’t avoid this forever, Chubbs!” Jason shouts as Jamie hurries upstairs. 

He hears Jordie before he enters Tyler’s room, having a one-sided conversation from the sound of it. He walks in to see Tyler still under the covers, the dogs barricading him in. Jordie’s sitting next to Tyler on the bed, frowning as Tyler pulls the covers so only his eyes are showing. 

“What’s going on?” Jamie asks. Tyler and Jordie whip around to face him, Tyler lighting up slightly as Jordie’s frowns. “Did you have a nice nap, Ty?” 

Jordie snorts and Tyler glares at him before turning back to Jamie. He looks at him expectantly until Jamie crosses the room and sits behind Tyler on the bed, Tyler’s back pressed to Jamie’s side. Jamie runs his hand through Tyler’s hair, ignoring the way Jordie’s watching them.

“I was just telling Tyler that me and Jason are sorry if we upset him.” Jordie finally says. 

“I told him that I forgive him.” Tyler looks up at Jamie as he speaks and Jordie’s smirk grows. 

“Good job, Ty. That’s nice of you.” The three of them sit quietly, Tyler petting the dogs obliviously while Jordie and Jamie have a staring match. Jamie looks away first. “Anyways, ready for dinner?” 

“Sure, Chubbs.” Jordie throws one more unreadable look towards Jamie before heading out of the room. 

Jamie helps Tyler detangle himself from all the blankets and lure the dogs off the bed before following him downstairs. Jamie can hear Jason and Jordie laughing loudly in the kitchen - probably about whatever it is Jamie’s missing, because he knows there’s something - but Tyler stops them. 

“You know Jamie,” Tyler starts. He’s whispering and Jamie has to bend down to hear him. “I like Jordie, he’s my friend and he’s your brother, but I don’t know why he’s mean to me sometimes. I think I just make him mad.” Tyler looks down and shakes his head. 

“Tyler-” 

“Did you make food, Jamie?” He’s fighting to smile and Jamie wonders how much of whatever his team isn’t telling him has to do with the way Tyler’s obviously quietly fighting them. “It smells good. Can I have lemonade?”

“Yeah, buddy, you can have anything you want.” Jamie says. Tyler hugs him tightly before skipping into the kitchen.

-

Dinner goes the way dinner was always going to go; Jason is a little shit, which Jamie puts up with because it makes Tyler and Jordie laugh. And because Jamie’s pretty sure there isn’t anything he can actually do about it. Tyler picks at the casserole Jamie made while the adults shovel food into their mouths. 

“Do you not like the food, Ty?” Jordie asks finally, when everyone’s had large second servings and Tyler’s still moving things around on the plate. 

Tyler looks at Jamie and pouts. “Noodles feel funny. I like the chicken though.” Jamie takes Tyler’s plate away, ignoring Tyler’s protest. He gives the plate back, sans casserole and only chicken and goldfish. Tyler lights up again and dinner progresses without incident. 

The cheesecake is a big hit, and it makes Tyler jumpy and loud. Jason looks smug until Tyler tries to climb onto Jamie’s glass coffee table. Jamie makes Jason do the dishes while Jordie swings Tyler around and jumps on the couch with him until Tyler tires out enough for Jamie to tuck him in bed. Tyler’s not the type of kid to demand a story before going to sleep, but he does make Jamie sit on the the side of the bed and talk to Tyler until he’s ready to go to sleep. Jamie gets Tyler comfortable and settles the dogs on either side of them, before laying down next to him. 

“Did you have a good day, Ty?” Jamie asks. Tyler moves so he’s resting on Jamie’s chest.

“I did, Jamie.” Tyler mumbles. “Can we go skating again soon?’ 

“Yeah, we can buddy. I don’t know when our next off day will be, but as soon as there is one I’ll take you to the rink.” Jamie pets Marshall as he talks and Tyler pets Cash so no one is left out.

“Can I have my own skates?” Tyler asks and Jamie says a silent prayer that Tyler won’t be small for long enough to need his own pair of tiny skates. 

“Sure thing, little guy. You can have whatever you want.” He says instead, for the second time that day. Jamie knows that hasn’t changed from when Tyler was an adult. “You know how I have practice and a game tomorrow?” Jamie asks. He waits for Tyler to nod before continues “Would you like to come with me? It’ll be early, I can get someone else to watch you if you’d like. They could take you skating.”

“I want to go with you.” Tyler says, voice soft as he drifts to sleep.

“Okay, Ty. I’ll wake you up in the morning.” Jamie mumbles as Tyler scoots closer to him. “Goodnight, Tyler.”

Jamie makes it back downstairs in time to see Jason flicking water as Jordie while Jordie tries to hide behind a counter. Jamie thinks he’s good at dealing with Jason and good at dealing with Jordie, but bad at dealing with Jason and Jordie. Tyler was always good at being around people, but not so much Jamie.

“I told you to clean, not make everything worse.” Jamie groans. He shoves Jordie as he walks past and pushes Jason away from the sink. Jordie grumbles a bit, but he calms down when Jason fits himself to Jordie’s side. 

“Sorry, mom.” Jason says happily. “Are you going to take away my TV privileges?” 

“You know, I moved out so I wouldn’t have to deal with the two of you anymore.” Jamie glares at Jordie over his shoulder but Jordie’s too busy hiding in Jason’s hoodie. 

“I wasn’t even living there at the time.” Jason turns to look at Jordie. “Maybe he saw me coming, huh? Knew to get out while he still could?” 

Jordie smiles down at Jason. “He knew I’d need an empty bedroom so I could convince you to move in with me.”

“Jamie knew we’d need a storage room. That’s crazy, Jordie, he knew!” Jason cackles with laughter. 

“Anyways, you can leave now, I guess.” Jamie rolls his eyes as he pushes at Jordie until the pair start moving towards the door. “Thanks for bringing cheesecake, see you at practice tomorrow.”

“Seriously, Jame.” Jordie says. He ducks under Jamie’s arm and turns around to look at his brother, dragging Jason along with him. “Tyler’s doing great. I know you’re worried about this whole thing but if you can just keep him happy he’ll change back soon.”

“You don’t know that though. He could be little forever. And I thought Tyler was happy.” Jamie looks down until Jason bumps into him. 

“He was, Chubbs. You and Dallas and being on the team made him happy but you can’t fix everything for him.” Jason shakes his head.

“I’m getting really tired of whatever secret the three of you are keeping from me. Especially since it’s hurting Tyler.” Jamie looks between Jason and Jordie. Neither of them will meet his eyes. 

“It’s not what you think, Jame, Jason and I know you wouldn’t have a problem with it but you know how Tyler can get.” Jordie says. “But, really, he should be the one to tell you. He wants to, he’s just scared.”

“Okay, well. thanks I guess.” Jamie goes to open the front door. “Don’t be late for practice.”

“Okay, Chubbs. Sure thing.” Jordie says while Jason groans. 

They leave, finally, and Jamie looks around his quiet house. He misses Tyler, misses the amount of space Tyler took up in his life. He’s not sure what was wrong with Tyler or if Jamie can do anything about it, but he need his best friend back. 

-

They go to the rink for morning skate before playing the Sharks and Jamie gets Tyler settled on the bench. Tyler amuses himself for a little while refilling the water bottles before getting bored. By the time Jamie makes it off the ice to the locker room, Tyler’s kneeling in Jamie’s stall carefully tapping up his pictures he drew on the plane. Everyone else has a drawing of them smiling happily in their jersey in their stall, but Jamie’s picture is him and Tyler with their arms around each other. 

-

The Stars then lose six games in a row. Jamie wants to blame Tyler being out of the lineup or the other teams just being better, but it feels like they’re doing bad because Jamie is sad. It probably has more to do with their defense struggling, or just general team morale, but Jamie feels like he could and should be doing more. If only he wasn’t so down about Tyler being small, then he could single handedly carry the team to victory. 

Maybe Tyler can tell because he seems to be giving Jamie some space. He still goes with Jamie to games and practice and spends all their off days with Jamie. He sits next to only Jamie on planes and at team meals and still lives in Jamie’s guest room. But he’ll run around the locker room and jump all over the rest of the team before and after games, and he’ll go skating with other people now. He always asks Jamie to come, but it’s okay if he goes with Val instead. 

Jamie’s sadness turns to anger sometime after their fourth straight loss. He’s pretty sure he’s going to explode and yell at someone - probably a rookie, which would be just too mean. Most of the team can see these moods coming and they give him a wide berth, like they know nothing but a really good win will pull him back. It leaves Jamie feeling lonely underneath his frustration. Normally when he gets like this Tyler will brave the rocky waters to make him laugh, and pull the rest of the team along with him. Now even little Tyler is leaving him alone to stew.

It finally comes to head the second day of March. Tyler has been small for a little over two weeks and the Stars have lost to the Ducks. 

Tyler’s running around the locker room with one of Jamie’s socks in his hand since they got to practice. Jamie’s been alternating between talking to Spezza, getting ready for skate, and watching Tyler. They had a scare a couple days ago where Tyler left the locker room without telling anyone and the team plotted a rescue mission to find him before he trotted back in with a pretzel. Since then Jamie’s been trying to keep a closer eye on him.

Tyler’s leaning against Klingberg’s knees, looking up at him and shaking the sock around. Klingberg laughs at whatever Tyler’s babbling about. He glances at Jamie before turning back to Tyler and Jamie figures Klingberg can watch Tyler for a bit, no problem. Jamie finishes lacing up his skates and heads out. 

Tyler stays in the locker room for practice. One of the coaches leaves a whiteboard and some markers out for him on the bench but he doesn't come out to use them. Jamie wonders if someone should go find him, make sure he hasn’t left the building or something, but Jamie also knows that if someone is going to find Tyler, it’s going to be him. He’s slightly annoyed that it always has to be him. Maybe this time it can be anyone else. Maybe Jamie isn’t that great of a fake parent. 

Practice is hard, as practice can be sometimes, and afterward Jamie would like a nap. He hopes whatever Tyler’s been up to has tired him out and they can both gets some sleep. He wanders into the locker room in a daze to see Tyler sitting on the floor counting money.

“Where did you get all that money, Ty?” Jamie asks. He stops in the doorway and Val bumps into his back before Vern pushes them all out of the way to get in. 

“You ruined the surprise, Jamie!” Tyler tells him. He starts gathering up the money and putting it in his sock while Jamie just stares. “Can I take you to get ice cream?”

“What do you mean, bud?” Jamie asks. Tyler lifts his arms and Jamie picks him up. 

“I’m going to buy you ice cream!” Tyler butts his head against Jamie’s. 

They go to Marble Slab, because Tyler insisted on doing Ice Cream Day right. Jamie still doesn’t know where Tyler got so many quarters or why he wants to pay but Jamie’s figures Tyler will tell him when he wants Jamie to know. Tyler actually doesn’t have enough money to pay for the ice cream, so Jamie pays when Tyler isn’t looking and dumps everything Tyler has in the tip jar. 

They eat outside on the patio, Tyler chatting the whole time about the dogs that pass by. 

“Do you think Jason and Jordie will get a dog, Jamie?” Tyler asks after a dog that looks a little like Jordie walks past. 

“Probably not, Ty, they’re kind of busy.” Jamie answers. He snapchats the dog to the whole team. Jordie will love it. 

“I can watch it for them. Mom says I’m good at that.” Tyler nods seriously. He eats the last bite of his ice cream before pulling a coloring book and some crayons out of his backpack and flipping through until he finds an unused page. 

“I’ll let them know but don’t count on it.” Jamie smiles as Tyler hands him the box of crayons and puts the coloring book between them. He starts coloring the football player’s pads in Cowboys colors. 

“Jordie and Jason gave me a dollar each.” Tyler says with a smile. “Kari only gave me a nickel.” 

“What are they giving you money for?” Jamie shakes his head at Tyler.

“So I could buy ice cream!” Tyler hits him gently with his spoon. “Most of the guys just gave me money but some of them said I should tell a joke first so I told them the one about oranges and bananas.” 

“I can pay for stuff, Ty.” 

“I’m trying to be nice so you won’t be sad anymore.” Tyler whines. 

“Is that what this is?” Jamie asks. Tyler sulks in his chair. “Ty, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to make me feel better.”

“Yes I do, Jamie. You make me feel better, ‘cause we’re friends and friends do that. That’s what my mom said.” Tyler draws a little Jamie and an even littler Tyler on the corner of the page. They’re holding hands and smiling. Jamie draws a balloon in Tyler’s other hand and Tyler draws a top hat on Jamie’s head.

 

-

The next night they beat the Islanders in overtime. Jamie assists Eaks game winning goal. They dog pile on the ice, and Jamie can hear the crowd cheering and his team yelling in his ears and he’s pressed in between Eaks and Klingberg but it’s okay. They fucking won and Jamie feels great.

Everything gets better from there. They beat the Preds in a shootout but lose to Tampa. It’s easy for Jamie to not get too worked up about losing when he’s sitting on one of the double beds in his hotel room, Tyler on the other bed singing along with the Lego Movie. Tyler’s making the stuffed Victor E. Green that Val gave to him dance along. Every now and then he throws an ice cube at Jamie and demands that Jamie at least hum. 

They beat the Hurricanes, and Jamie would be feeling pretty good about the whole thing if he could get his stupid hips to stop aching. The pain usually comes and goes in waves but right now it’s nonstop. Jamie’s been working through the dull ache for months now, to the point where waking up with stiff hips isn't out of the ordinary, but with a long plane ride and a game against Washington to look forward to Jamie’s a little worried.

“Jord, watch Ty for a bit.” Jamie mumbles, pushing Tyler gently towards Jordie.

Tyler immediately resists, ducking away from Jamie’s hands. Jason dives for him but Tyler jumps onto the bench. “I want to stay with Jamie.” He declares. 

“We know, bud.” Jordie snatches Tyler off the bench and swings him around while Tyler screams. “Jamie’s just going to get you a present.”

“You don’t want to ruin the surprise.” Jason adds, stepping forward to tickle Tyler. 

Jamie groans - now he’s going to have to find Tyler some sort of toy - and sneaks out while Tyler’s distracted. Their trainer sighs when Jamie walks in. 

“Get comfortable.” He says. “I’ll get a cortisone shot ready.” 

Jamie lies on the bench, shifting his weight slightly to take the pressure off his hips, listening to the trainer putter around the room. He’s about five minutes into a power nap when he’s feels little hands on his hip. 

“Tyler?” Jamie murmurs. “I thought you were going to stay with Jordie.”

“Are you hurt, Jamie?” Tyler asks with a heavy pout. “Why wouldn’t you tell me you were hurt?”

“I’m fine, Ty. I’m just trying to keep playing.” Jamie says. Tyler climbs into a chair next to the bench Jamie’s laying on and pushes his face into Jamie’s shoulder. 

“You wouldn’t be playing so hard if I could play too.” He says, his voice small and muffled.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not true, Ty.” Jamie runs his free hand down Tyler’s back until they’re both lightly dozing in the trainer’s room. 

“Jamie?” The trainer says, waking them from their naps. “You ready for the shot?” 

“Are you scared of shots, Jamie?’ Tyler asks. There’s a crease in his forehead from the fabric of Jamie’s t-shirt and his eyes are wide.

“Yeah, bud, I am.” Jamie says, ignoring the snort from the trainer. 

“Me too. My mom holds my hand and tells me not to look. I can hold your hand if you want?” Tyler offers, already holding his small hand out. 

“I think that would help a lot, thanks Ty.” Jamie turns on his side and takes Tyler’s hand.

 

-

Jamie drives Jordie and Jason home from the airport in Dallas. Jordie sits in the backseat and ties Tyler’s shoes together while Tyler naps in his carseat. He changed into his pajamas while on the plane but Jamie made him keep his shoes on. They bundled him in a blanket and he’s still clutching Victor. They drive past Tyler’s empty house on the way to their apartment. Except maybe Tyler’s house isn’t really empty because the light is on inside. 

“Do you think the world’s dumbest robber is trying to take Ty’s golf clubs?” Jason asks. 

“Should we go beat ‘em up?’ Jordie chimes in.

“Should we, like, call the cops?” Jamie parks his truck on the curb, hidden behind the big tree in front of Tyler’s house. 

“It’s probably his dog sitter or mom or something.” Jason unbuckles his seatbelt and moves to get out of the car, but Jordie grabs his shoulders from behind and hold him to his seat. 

“Or it’s a murderer!” He yells, startling Tyler awake. 

“I’m sleepy, Jamie.” Tyler grumbled, rubbing his eyes with balled up fist. 

“Sorry, bud. Jordie’s just really excited.” Jamie turns in his seat to smile at Tyler. 

“What’s he excited about?” Tyler grumbles. 

“Everything.” Jordie says quickly. “Life is great. Go back to sleep.” 

Tyler looks at them all one at a time before cuddling up in his carseat and closing his eyes again. Jamie watches him for a moment before turning to Jason. “Stay here and keep an eye on Ty, and Jordie and I will go inside.”

“I’m not going in there with the murder!” Jordie protest loudly. 

“I don’t care what you want, let’s go.” Jamie glances at Tyler again before getting out of the car. He walks around and pulls a struggling Jordie out behind him while Jason stifles his laughter. 

“Think of how sad our family will be when we both die.” Jordie says, making one last effort to get back in the car. 

Jamie ignores him and opens the unlocked front door.

“Fucking finally!” A voice shouts from upstairs. “I’ve been waiting forever, where the hell have you been, man? Oh, you’re not Segs.”

“Jesse, hey.” Jamie calls as Jesse Blacker comes barreling down the stairs.

“Where’s Seggy? He knew I was coming down.” Jesse look around like Tyler’s hiding behind a couch or Jamie’s back. 

“When did you talk to him?” Jamie asks. Tyler’s phone’s been off and kept in a drawer in Jamie’s bedroom. He’s a little paranoid that Tyler’s going to find it and tell the whole world what’s been going on.

“I don’t know? Maybe three months ago? He said he had a home game and then some off days so we were going to chill. I wrote it down in my calendar and everything.” Jesse pulls out his phone and shows Jamie the event. He’s just written SEGS. 

“Okay, well he’s really sick right now.” Jamie starts.

“Like they’re keeping him out of games sick.” Jordie interrupts. 

“Yeah, so he’s not here.” Jamie finishes.

Jesse narrows his eyes at Jamie. “I thought he had a knee injury”

“He did. His knee is good now, but he’s sick so.” Jamie shrugs and Jordie nods a lot next to him. 

“Where is he then? Staying with you or did he go back to Toronto? It must be serious if he’s not here.” Jesse looks around the quiet house. “Even the pups are gone.”

“Yeah, no, yeah.” Jamie glances out the front window. He can only see his truck’s headlights through the bushes. “He’s fine just, you know, contagious so we’re keeping him away from the team for now. He took the dogs because, well you know how they get.”

“If he’s not here than why didn’t he call to tell me not to come?” Jesse crosses his arms and glares. 

“Maybe he forgot.” Jordie sighs. 

“Alright.” Jesse says. “Well it’s late and a long drive back to San Antonio so I’m just going to stay in the guest room tonight. I’m sure Segs won’t mind.” 

“Right, drive safe.” Jordie says. “Maybe we’ll see you around.” 

He starts dragging Jamie towards the front door. “Make sure you lock up before you leave.” Jamie says over his shoulder before following Jordie back to the car.

“You’re alive!” Jason cheers when he sees them. 

“Yeah, the murderer was just Blacker.” Jordie sighs. “What a letdown.”

“I think we were rude to him.” Jamie mumbles. 

“I mean we tried to subtly kick him out of someone else’s house. And I’m pretty sure he thinks you kidnapped Tyler. But, whatever, he’ll leave soon and Tyler will call him when he’s back to normal. Doesn’t matter.” Jordie looks at the house again. “Take us home, Chubbs.”

Tyler doesn’t wake up again until Jamie’s carrying him into the house. The dogs bark at them as they come in and Tyler whines to be put down. He flops Cash and Marshall’s ears around and lets them lick his face before silently asking Jamie’s to pick him up again. Jamie wraps the Stars throw Tyler’s claimed as his own around Tyler’s shoulders before tucking him to his side and carrying him upstairs. 

“Is there a game tomorrow, Jam?” Tyler mumbles. 

“Yeah, there is, bud. Against the Blues so that should be fun.” Jamie tucks him into bed and lets the dogs get settled before sitting on the side of the bed. “I’m sorry you’re always getting to bed so late, Ty. You could sleep in tomorrow if you’d like?”

“I want to go to skate with you.” Tyler smiles sleeply before, “Where’s Victor?”

“I left Victor in the car. Did you want him?” Tyler nods and Jamie goes back to the car to get their stuff. Tyler’s fast asleep by the time Jamie gets back. He tucks Victor next to Tyler and the Stars blanket tighter around Tyler’s shoulders. 

-

Jamie wakes to the sound of someone banging on his front door. Tyler’s standing in the entryway frowning at the door while the dog’s bark loudly. 

“Jamie.” Tyler says softly. He hides behind Jamie’s legs and stares at the front door with wide eyes. “Do you think it’s a monster or something?”

“Stay here, Ty.” Jamie tells him. Tyler reaches out for him but Jamie ruffles his hair and Tyler stays put.

“Open the door, Jamie!” Jamie hears Jesse call through the door and Jamie groans. “I can hear the dogs, I know Segs is in there.”

“Fuck it.” Jamie mumbles. He looks at Tyler who only holds Victor closer. “Back up, boys.” Jamie holds the dogs back with his foot and opens the door. Jesse falls into the house and Tyler jumps. 

“Blacker?” Tyler says quietly. Jesse stands up and looks at Tyler. 

“Who’s the kid?” Jesse rounds on Jamie. “Never mind, where’s Tyler? What the hell’s going on, Jamie?”

“You shouldn’t use words like that.” Tyler says automatically. 

“You should go, Blacker.” Jamie moves to pick up Tyler. 

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on. Is Tyler dying, did you do something to him?” Blacker demands.

“I’m fine.” Tyler grumbles. “Jamie takes care of me.” 

“Blacker, this is Tyler. We don’t know how or why but now he’s little again.” Jamie says quickly, because might as well. If Jesse is going to insist on seeing Tyler before going back to his own team then he might as well see Tyler. 

“Look, Jamie, I know you don’t like me but this is just stupid. Who’s kid is that? Does Tyler know about this?” Blacker says gently, like he has to placate Jamie, keep him from doing something dumb. 

“It’s me, Blacker. I’m just shorter.” Tyler says. 

“Prove it.” Jesse looks between Tyler and Jamie expectantly. 

“I don’t really know how to do that.” Jamie bites his lip and looks down at Tyler in his arms. 

“You don’t like airplanes.” Tyler says simply.

“Lots of people probably know that about me.” Blacker fires back. 

“You collect buttons because you’re mom said it was good luck.”

“Holy shit.” Blacker steps back as his eyes widen.

“You’re not supposed to say that word either.” Tyler says quickly.

“Is Seguin in on this?” Blacker finally asks. 

“This is Tyler, Jesse.” Jamie says. He puts Tyler back on the floor. He’s expecting Tyler to try to hug Jesse the way he’s hugged everyone else, but instead he just stays close to Jamie’s side. “I don’t really care if you believe me or not.”

“Jamie, I’m hungry.” Tyler slips his hand into Jamie’s and looks up at him expectantly. “Can I have waffles, please?” 

“Sure thing, Ty. Did you want peanut butter on them or syrup?” Jamie leads Tyler to the kitchen, Blacker and the dogs following close behind. He sits Tyler down at the table and hands him a cup of milk before putting the frozen waffles in the toaster.

“Jesse, if you’re hungry you have to ask Jamie and you have to say please. He can’t make pancakes but he can make waffles and we have cereal, but you have to ask.” Tyler tells Blacker before looking back at Jamie. “I want peanut butter on one and jelly on the other so I can make a sandwich. Are you going to have oatmeal, Jamie?” Tyler turns back to Jesse while Jamie tries to hold in his laughs. He’s gotten used to Tyler’s babbling but Jesse looks taken aback. “I don’t like the oatmeal but Jamie does so maybe it’s just me. You can have oatmeal if you want but it’s slimy so I don’t like it. You have to ask, though.”

“I’m not hungry.” Blacker finally says after just staring at Tyler for a while. 

Tyler nods and turns back to Jamie. “Can I feed the dogs, Jamie?” 

“Yeah, go for it, Ty.” Jamie says as the toaster pops. Tyler hops up and the dogs follow him through the kitchen while Blacker moves to stand at Jamie’s elbow.

“What the fuck, Benn?” Blacker whispers. “Like what the actual fuck?” 

“Apparently it happens when someone’s like really upset.” Jamie mumbles. 

“Are you saying Segs felt an emotion and now he’s a child? That’s crazy, Benn.” Blacker hisses and Jamie rolls his eyes. 

“He’s always had feelings, Blacker.” Jamie hands Tyler his breakfast and Tyler cheers and skips back to the table. “He was really sad and he couldn’t handle it and now he’s a child. I’m just keeping him happy until he turns back.” 

“Oh. That.” Blacker mutters. 

“Does everyone know but me?” Jamie mumbles, glaring at the back of Jesse’s head.

“Buddy, you’d know too if you ever looked around.” Jesse grabs a pack of poptarts, ignoring Tyler’s yelling about asking before taking things. 

“Are you going to tell me?” Jamie takes his own breakfast and sits next to Tyler at the table. 

“Jamie, tell Blacker it’s wrong to take things!” Tyler shouts, turning his attention to Jamie. 

“Oh my god! I’m sorry, Segs, it won’t happen again!” Blacker shouts back. Tyler turns to glare at him.

“You can’t say sorry if you don’t mean it!” Tyler argues. 

“You don’t know what I do and don’t mean!” Blacker breaks a pop tart in half and Jamie snorts.

“If you meant it, you wouldn’t be yelling.” Tyler says with an eye roll.

“I am not - this is ridiculous, I’m fighting with a baby.” Jesse grumbles around the poptart he shoved in his mouth.

“I am not a baby!” Tyler shrikes. 

“Finish your breakfast, Tyler.” Jamie says calmly. Tyler whips around to look at Jamie with hurt eyes.

“He started it, Jamie.” Tyler pouts and Jamie sighs. 

“I know bud, but we can’t go to practice until after you eat, so.” Jamie watches as Tyler quickly eats the rest of his waffle sandwich before running up stairs with one last glare at Blacker.

“You take him to practice?” Blacker asks. “What about the fans? What if they see him?”

“If anyone asks he’s one of the trainer’s kids and they can’t find a babysitter.” Jamie shrugs and Blacker comes to sit at the table across from him. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with Tyler now?”

“I don’t think he wants you to know.” Jesse fold his hand on the table.

They sit quietly, watching each other. Jamie can hear Tyler running around upstairs. “Do you want to come to practice with us? Keep an eye on him while we skate?” 

“Yeah, okay. I got some time before I have to leave.” Jesse shrugs and scratches his nose. “He probably doesn’t want me to come.”

“Compliment his sweatshirt and he’ll be your best friend again.” Jamie advises. 

“You’re his best friend, I’m just his bro.” Blacker reclines in Jamie’s kitchen chair and Jamie can feel his face heating up. 

“I’m going to grab my stuff for practice.” Jamie kicks at Jesse’s chair and laughs as Jesse flails. 

Tyler’s sitting at the top of the stairs, his shoes untied and petting Cash. He’s wearing a Stars sweatshirt and a Stars beanie. 

“Will you tie my shoes, Jamie?” Tyler kicks his heels together so his shoes light up. Jamie kneels in front of Tyler and ignores Cash trying to lick his hands. “Mr. Lindy said I could help pick up pucks today!’

“As long as you’re careful.” Jamie pulls the beanie farther down on Tyler’s head. “I’ve got to get ready, Ty. Why don’t you grab your backpack and I’ll meet you downstairs?”

Jamie get’s dressed quickly, thinking about being Tyler’s best friend. He know Tyler is his best friend, he just doesn’t know if he’s Tyler’s. Tyler’s got tons of friends, to the point where Jamie’s not even sure where some of them came from, like Blacker. Tyler cares about him, Jamie knows that, but that has more to do with Tyler caring about the Stars and wanting what’s best for the team. He’s more like Tyler’s best Dallas friend.

Although maybe that’s not right, if Jamie believes Blacker. Maybe Jamie means as much to Tyler as Tyler does to Jamie. Jamie certainly means as much to young Tyler as any version of Tyler means to Jamie. Or maybe Blacker’s messing with Jamie and Jamie’s reading too much into the actions of a five-year-old.

“Jamie!” Tyler yells from downstairs. “We’re going to be late!”

“I like your sweatshirt, Ty.” Jamie hears Blacker saying as Jamie grabs his gear and heads downstairs. 

“Thanks! It’s green, my favorite color is green.” Tyler pulls the sleeves over his hands and wraps his arms around himself. 

“Tyler, is it okay if Jesse comes to practice with us?” Jamie asks. 

Tyler screws up his face and looks at Blacker before turning back to Jamie. “Can we go to Gatti’s after practice?” 

“Gatti’s is kind of a drive, Ty. Would somewhere else be okay?” Jamie herds Tyler and Jesse out of the house and into the car. 

“What’s Gatti's?” Jesse asks, watching suspiciously as Jamie pulls out of the driveway. 

“Jesse’s never been to Gatti’s, Jamie! Now we have to go!” Tyler says happily in the backseat. 

“Are you sure you know how to drive this thing?” Blacker says. He wraps one hand around the door handle and the other around his seat belt like he’s ready to jump. 

“My car? Yeah, man, I can drive it.” Jamie looks over at Blacker and laughs. “We’re not even on a real road yet.”

“People in Texas drive like maniacs!” Blacker checks Jamie’s blind spot while Jamie changes lanes. “You should get one of those baby on board signs for your monster truck.”

“I am not a baby.” Tyler pipes up from the back seat. 

“This is a normal sized truck.” Jamie grunts.

“Sorry, Ty.” Jesse says quickly. 

They’re early to practice but Jamie strives to always be early to practice. Jamie drops Tyler and Blacker off at the benches before heading off to the locker room. He skates out onto the ice to see Tyler on the bench, the pack of expo markers Lindy gave him next to him, and a white board on his lap. Blacker’s sitting with his back to the wall, his legs spread out down the bench. Tyler hold the white board up so Jamie can see it. “HI JAMIE!!” It says in Tyler’s messy handwriting. Jesse rolls his eyes. 

“Did you finally get a babysitter?” Lindy asks as he skates slow circles around where Jamie is standing still, watching Tyler kick his feet back and forth while he draws. 

“He’s one of Tyler’s friends. He’s only staying for a day.” Jamie watches as Tyler shows Rous and Val his drawing. They ooh and ah appropriately before calling over some of the others guys. Tyler preens under the attention and Jamie smiles. 

“Okay.” Lindy says. “Maybe we’ll finally get to practice.” Lindy smirks at Jamie before skating away, banging his stick on the ice until the team gathers around him.

They’re still struggling to fill Tyler’s spot but it’s getting a little easier. Jamie doesn’t like to think about where the team would be if Tyler never made it to Dallas. He likes to think of Tyler as the catalyst - the rebranding their PR was pushing for. It’s still weird for him, hearing Tyler cheer from the bench and not from the ice. 

Jamie helps Tyler onto the ice and skates slowly behind him while Tyler trots around, picking up stray pucks and placing them in the bucket. Jamie’s poised to grab Tyler the moment he starts to slip but Tyler seems to have it covered. 

“Can we go eat now?” Jesse hollers from the bench. 

Tyler grabs the last puck from the back corner of the net and holds it out to Jamie. “Can I keep this one?” Tyler asks. “I don’t have one and there’s a lot of pucks so I don’t think anyone will get mad if I keep one.”

“What do you want this one for?” Jamie grabs Tyler and holds him on his hip with one hand and the bucket of pucks with the other. “It’s just a practice puck.”

“If you score, like a really, really, really great goal during a game, could I have that puck?” Tyler hops from Jamie’s arms to the bench. He hands the puck to one of the equipment managers. 

“Sure, bud. You’ll have to let me know when I score a really great goal.” Jamie smiles as Tyler nods happily. 

“Jamie, look what I drew!” Tyler holds up the whiteboard proudly. He’s drawn the team, together on the ice. Everyone’s wearing their green jerseys, with the number on the front where the star should be. Tyler and Jamie are at the center of the huddle, holding hands and smiling, with the rest of the team gathered around. 

“I’m hungry.” Jesse says. He looks between Tyler and Jamie and raises an eyebrow. “Practice is over, let’s go eat.”

“I’ve got to change, then we can go.” Jamie can hear Tyler cheering as he heads to the locker room.

“Gatti’s!” Tyler yells, echoing in the quiet rink.

“What’s Gatti’s?” Jesse grumbles.

“Gatti’s is the best, Blacker!” Tyler stomps on the bench and Jesse sighs. 

-

Jamie makes Tyler eat something before playing any of the games at Gatti’s, even though Tyler spends the whole car ride arguing that they’re going to Gatti’s for the games. He stops talking when Jamie hands him a plate and lets him loose on the buffet. Tyler builds a tower of mediocre pizza while Jesse watches on in horror. 

“No way he can eat all of that.” Jesse mumbles while Tyler struggles to reach over the counter. He stands on his toes and jumps until finally giving in and looking up at Jamie to help. 

“He’ll eat two slices and then give the rest to me.” Jamie puts some pasta on his own plate before following Tyler to a table. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Jesse throws himself in the chair across from Jamie and looks at him seriously, “but I think you might be a bad parent.”

Tyler stuffs a whole slice of pizza in his mouth. Jamie shrugs. 

“I think I’m more his babysitter than his parent.” Jamie says and Tyler throws his crust at him.

“We are a team, Jamie.” Tyler says loudly. 

“Sorry, bud.” Jamie replies quickly. Blacker smirks at him.

Tyler finishes his second slice of pizza and looks at Jamie. “Can I play Frogger?”

“Frogger?” Blacker groans. 

“It’s kind of an old place.” Jamie hands Tyler a dollar. “Blacker and I will be right here, finishing lunch, okay?”

“Okay, Jamie.” Tyler pats the back of Jamie’s hand and runs off.

“What is this place?” Blacker finally asks, after they’ve both ate what is left of Tyler’s pizza tower.

“Tyler came here with his sisters right after he moved to Dallas. I’m not sure why. We take all the rookies here though, try to win them a prize on the crane machine.” Jamie shrugs. He can see Tyler out of the corner of his eye, jumping up and down in front of the machine. He has to stand on a stool to be tall enough to play. “I guess it carried over.”

“Did a lot of stuff carry over?” Blacker asks. 

“I guess so. It seems like the same Tyler only younger. Like he still knows everything about me, and the team, and his life here.” Jamie thinks about Tyler running around the AAC with Spezza’s kids, Tyler repeating over and over the same three words Rous taught him in french, Tyler wishing Jordie and Jason a happy anniversary. 

“Maybe this whole being a little kid thing actually makes sense.” Blacker says. “Kids aren’t as afraid of consequences. But even as a kid Tyler’s too scared to tell you the truth.”

“I want to hear it from him. Whatever it is. I want him to tell me.” Jamie says. If it’s such a big deal to Tyler, Jamie wants Tyler to want to tell him.

“Trust me, you really want to hear him say it.” Blacker mumbles as Tyler walks up again. He has the last bite of an ice cream cone in his hand which he holds out for Jamie.

“Will you play Simpsons with me?” Tyler asks. 

Tyler plays as Bert, Jamie plays as Marge, and Jesse plays as Homer. Jamie has to keep putting in five dollar bills until they beat the game.

Jesse leaves for San Antonio when they get back from lunch, just in time for Jamie and Tyler to take their pregame nap. They lose badly to the Blues that night.

-

“Are you sad we’re not making the playoffs?” Tyler asks one night. They’re eating mac and cheese in a hotel room in Anaheim. There’s two games left in the season and nothing the Stars can do to make playoffs. Tyler’s been little for fifty-seven days and missed twenty-five and a half games.

Jamie doesn’t want to blame Tyler, doesn't want to think about where the team could be if Tyler could just handle his problems like a normal person instead of turning into a child. They’re a team, and if the team’s not doing well that’s on everyone. Even if Tyler was playing with the team, it’s not his job to carry the team to the playoffs.

It still hurts though. Jamie thought this would be their year, after getting knocked out early the year before. 

“Yeah, Ty. I’m sad about it.” Jamie says. He’s been playing his hardest and it didn’t change anything. He’s frustrated and disappointed and a little lonely without Tyler to share his misery with. At least last year he had Tyler, who understood perfectly how he felt. 

“I’m sad too, Jamie.” Tyler says. Jamie turns on some kids show about dogs for Tyler and they eat the rest of their lunch in silence.

-

Jamie does not want to win the Art Ross trophy. He wants a Stanley Cup, he wants his hips to stop hurting, he wants the team to succeed, and he wants Tyler back. He feels like he’s asking for too much, but it also feels like he’s been working so much for so long and it didn’t mean anything. 

The team is excited at morning skate leading up to the last game and Jamie doesn't want to be the one to bring them down. Everyone is talking about getting Jamie the puck, Jamie has to touch the puck. Even Lindy is talking about what it would mean for the city and the future of the club. Jordie and both Jasons have been beaming all day, pretending Jamie wants it like they want it for him.

“How come you don’t want the Arty, Jamie?” Tyler asks. He’s in the backseat of Jamie’s truck, wearing one of Jamie’s jerseys that he pulled out of the box in Jamie’s closet. They’re on the way back to Jamie’s to take pregame naps. Jamie feels exhausted. He wants this season to be over so they can get to next season, and another shot at a playoff run. 

“I want to win a Stanley cup with you, Ty.” Jamie says softly. He watches Tyler in the rearview mirror as his face falls. 

“I want that too, Jamie.” Tyler says. Tyler sinks farther into his carseat. “I’m sorry I can’t play.”

“It’s not your fault, bud.” Jamie turns up the music to distract Tyler. 

He’s dropping Tyler off at the box, still in his game day suit, when Tyler brings it up again. 

“You have to win Jamie.” Tyler says seriously. 

Jamie bends down to Tyler’s level to look him in the eyes. “I always try to win, bud. I’m not going to throw the game.”

“No, Jamie!” Tyler flails his arms around. “You have to win the Arty!” 

Tyler’s in a box with some of their PR people tonight. Jamie likes them as babysitters, mostly because they don’t glare at Jamie when Tyler starts yelling.

“I’m fine with not winning the Arty, Ty. I don’t need it.” Jamie says. 

Tyler pouts at him and his eyes shine with tears. “But we have to prove them wrong! You said we would!”

“Tyler, that was about you and me, and this team, not me by myself.” Jamie mumbles. 

“But Jamie!” Tyler whines. “You’re team, you have to win, you have to prove them wrong!”

The sleeves of Tyler’s jersey fall down over his hands and he looks younger than Jamie thinks is fair. Tyler looks and acts young always, even when he was twenty-three instead of five. But now Jamie really see it, how trusting Tyler is in this team and in Jamie and how much Tyler needs for this to work out. Jamie thinks Tyler needs the Stars to win more than Jamie does sometimes. Jamie wonders who he wants it for. 

Jamie touches his forehead to Tyler’s and tries to smile encouragingly. “Of course I’m going to win, Ty. I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be.”

-

It’s not until the team is surrounding him on the ice that Jamie realizes what this means. There’s still part of him that’s hurt - from missing the playoffs again, from missing Tyler, his hips after a long game of pushing himself - but there’s a bigger part that can hear the crowd roaring and feel his team around him and knows that this is enough for now. This season is over and they’ll have another shot soon. 

They give all four pucks the Stars scored with to Jamie. Someone’s written the time of each goal on the pucks. Jamie gives the last puck, the one he only got an assist on, to Cody. Eakin beams brightly before trying to pick Jamie up. He decides to give the puck from the first goal to his mom and use the second as a paper weight. 

There’s a lot to do after the game ends. There’s a ceremony on the ice where Jamie takes pictures with some trophies and tries very hard to talk to the crowd without sounding too sorry for himself. After that he does the postgame show and a handful of interviews in the locker room. The guys try to take him out to celebrate but he mentions getting Tyler home and they back off. The room is empty by the time Jamie get out of the shower. Someone’s written, “CONGRATS BENNY!!” on one of the white boards. 

Jamie gathers what he can, hoping to make locker cleanout go faster, and head out to find Tyler. Usually someone he sit with in the box walks him to the locker room but tonight Jamie finds Tyler right where he left him. Tyler’s the only one left in the box and he’s watching the arena staff mill around below.

“Tyler?” Jamie calls from the door. “You ready to go home?”

“Not yet.” Tyler looks back to the ice. “Come sit with me.”

Jamie sits and Tyler immediately crawls into his lap. 

“Did you have fun?” Jamie asks softly. Jamie smooths down Tyler’s hair and Tyler hugs him tighter. 

“Yeah, Jamie, it’s hockey.” Tyler giggles. “You won the Arty.”

“I told you I would.” Jamie pulls the last puck out of his jacket pocket and places it in Tyler’s hand. “This is to say thank you for being so supportive.” 

Tyler looks up at him with wide eyes. His cheeks are red and he’s smiling. “Is this-”

“It’s the puck from my empty net goal.” Jamie mumbles. “Is that a cool enough goal?” 

“I love it, Jamie.” Tyler tucks his head under Jamie’s chin and curls in closer. “I’m ready to go home now.”

Jamie carries Tyler throught the AAC to the car, Tyler quietly praising the team in Jamie’s ear while they walked. 

“Jamie?” Tyler mumbles as Jamie buckles him into his car seat. “I wanted to be on the ice with you tonight.”

“I wanted that too, bud.” Jamie wraps the blanket in the backseat around Tyler. It’s not cold in Dallas anymore but Tyler’s looking at him with wide eyes and Jamie’s feeling protective. 

Tyler’s asleep by the time they make it home. Jamie carries him upstairs and to his room. He takes the puck from Tyler’s hands and places it on the night stand. 

Jamie’s not sure what to do with Tyler now that the season’s over. He’s not sure if he can take care of a kid and recover from double hip surgery. Maybe he’ll drop Tyler off in Toronto with his mom before going to New York for surgery. Maybe Tyler’s mom knows the secret to getting Tyler to grow up, or at least to raising him. He has locker cleanout in the morning and then nothing but doctors appointments and the NHL awards until training camp. He can’t imagine any of that would be fun for Tyler. He’ll ask Tyler what he wants to do in the morning.

-

Jamie wakes up to the smell of bacon and the sound of dogs barking. This isn’t really unusual in Jamie’s house, or at least it wasn’t four months ago when Tyler was still an adult who would make breakfast for Jamie. These days it’s more likely that Jamie wakes up to his alarm and drags a tired Tyler downstairs to eat a bowl of cereal. 

“Tyler?” Jamie calls as he comes down the stairs.

“Hey.” Tyler says. Adult Tyler, who looks exactly the same as he did the day he went down with a knee injury. He’s wearing a pair of Jamie’s sweatpants and a Stars t-shirt, with a C on the front of the shirt. He’s got a piece of bacon in his hand that the dogs are jumping for and Jamie has never been so relieved. “Congrats on the Art Ross.” Tyler mumbles, throwing the bacon to Marshall. 

“I didn’t want it.” Jamie says immediately. “I mean, I did, kind of. I’d just rather have the playoffs.”

“I know. I’d rather have played this season instead of being a child, so.” Tyler grumbled. 

“I’d rather have played with you than win the Arty.” Jamie shrugs and Tyler blushes. 

“Yeah, well.” Tyler rubs a hand over his face and turns away. “Nothing we can do about it now. I called Jim earlier and he said I could go to Worlds if I wanted to.”

“You’re going to Worlds?” Jamie asks. Tyler puts a plate of food in front of him and starts cleaning the kitchen. 

“I would say you should come too but you’ll be getting that hip thing sorted, right?” Tyler sits down next to him at Jamie’s kitchen counter. 

“I mean, yeah, nothing’s set yet, but. Probably at some point I’ll have to.” They sit quietly, Tyler shoveling food into his mouth while Jamie slowly pushes scrambled eggs around. “So you won’t be in Dallas during offseason?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably go to Toronto at some point. Get out of your hair for a bit.” Tyler shrugs and Jamie flinches. 

“Tyler, I -”

“Sorry about that, by the way. I know that must have been a pain in the ass.” Tyler gives the rest of his food to the dogs. 

“Tyler, it’s fine. I just, missed you. I’m glad you’re back.” Jamie watches Tyler grab the dog leashes. 

Tyler finally looks at him, smiling softly before turning away again. 

“Anyways, I should get the pups home.” Tyler makes it to the door before Jamie realizes what’s happening.

“You’re leaving?” Jamie asks. Tyler looks to the door and then back at Jamie. “Well, give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll drive you.” 

“Naw, I’ll walk, it’s cool. I could use the exercise anyways.” The dogs are jumping all over the place and Jamie sighs. 

“You’re not even wearing shoes, Ty.” Jamie says.

“It’s not a long walk.” Tyler shrugs one last time and then he’s out the door. It slams heavily behind him and Jamie deflates. 

-

Jamie doesn’t see Tyler again until locker cleanout, and even then it’s like Tyler determined to float right past Jamie. He brings some of Tyler’s stuff with him, the dog’s toys and Tyler’s phone mostly, and Tyler just nods before continuing to shove his pads in a bag. Tyler spends most of locker cleanout ignoring the boys’ chirps and chatting quietly with Spezza about Worlds. Jamie spends most of locker cleanout watching Tyler. 

“You’re being weird.” Jordie whispers, sliding up to Jamie on the bench. 

“Tyler’s being weird.” Jamie says with a scowl. “It’s like he’s trying to pretend the past couple of months didn’t happen when everyone in here has one of his drawing’s in their locker.” Jamie had watched most of the team carefully put Tyler’s art in their bag but Jamie folded his and put it in his wallet. 

“I mean, it is weird. He was a child that we had to take care of for, like, months. That’s a long time in hockey games.” Jordie shrugs. Jason comes over to Jordie’s side and runs his fingers through Jordie’s hair. “Probably bummed he missed so much of the season.”

Jason snorts and Jordie glares up at him. 

“That’s not why he’s bummed, but whatever the two of you want to think.” Jason waves his hands around while he talks until Jordie grabs his wrists. Jason wobbles before falling over, half on Jordie’s lap and half on Jamie. Jamie pushes him away and goes back to his stall. 

It’s been a little over one day since Tyler left and Jamie already misses him. After Tyler grabbed his dogs and sprinted out of Jamie’s house, Jamie scheduled his hip surgery. He goes to a couple interviews around Dallas and talks on the phone with his mom. He sends the schedule for his hips to Jordie and Lindy and the training staff. He eats the rest of the chicken nuggets in his freezer before cleaning his house, putting all of Tyler’s things in Tyler’s room. 

It’s the first time the house feels too big. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with all this space. Jamie wonders if he should asks Jordie and Jason to switch with him, move into the house and he’ll take the condo and get a dog or something. 

Jordie and Jason follow him home from locker cleanout. Jason helps him pack for New York while Jordie sits in the middle of the floor and buys plane tickets for them. 

“You don’t have to come with me.” Jamie says softly, for the eighth time since Jordie brought it up.

“You’re getting double hip surgery on the other side of the country, Jame. Mom would kill me if I let you go alone.” Jordie says. Jamie packs quietly, listening to Jordie grumble. “All of these flights leave so early. It’s offseason, I want to sleep in for once. Did you want to come, Jason?”

“Nah, that’s okay. I’ll stay home and water the plants or something.” Jason bends down and kisses Jordie’s forehead. 

“What plants?” Jamie grumbles.

“We bought a cactus.” Jason replies. 

“Tyler thinks you should get a dog.” Jamie mumbles.

Jordie’s face lights up and Jason sighs. “We can talk about it when you get back to Dallas.”

-

Jamie gets off a plane in New York around the same time Tyler’s flight to Worlds is taking off. Jamie only knows Tyler’s on a plane to Worlds because everyone in the group chat is wishing him luck, and not because Tyler has said anything to Jamie. 

“He’s probably just embarrassed, Chubbs.” Jordie says with a sigh. Jamie complains about his aching bones until Jordie grabs both of their bags and lugs them through the airport. 

“But there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Jamie puts his phone away before he can rewatch Tyler’s snapchat story, and follows Jordie outside to the cab pickup. 

“Maybe somebody should tell him that.” Jordie throws their bags into the trunk of a cab. “Listen, Jame, Spez said he’ll keep an eye on Ty and they’ll do great at Worlds. And then we’ll all be back in Dallas and everything will go back to normal.”

Jamie sits quietly, watching out the window as their cab slowly works through New York City, until Jordie finally caves.

“You’re still thinking about Tyler. That’s fine, that’s normal for you. When are you supposed to be at the hospital tomorrow?” 

“What if I don’t want things to go back to normal?” Jamie asks instead. Jordie sighs and leans back heavily in his seat.

“Let me just make sure we’re thinking the same thing here.” Jordie says. “You don’t want the friendship you used to have with Tyler.”

“I mean, Tyler will always be my best friend but what if -” Jamie starts. 

“That’s a yes. You want more than the friendship with Tyler.” Jordie states simply.

“Well, what if I did?” Jamie slumps down and Jordie rolls his eyes.

“No one would be surprised.” Jordie shrugs. “Are you just talking or are you going to do anything about it?”

“I don’t want to, like, ruin the team or anything.” Jamie can see it now, Tyler avoiding him forever, and the strain on their friendship bleeding onto the ice until they can’t play on a line together anymore. 

“Fine, just sit and be sad about it, that’s fine.” Jordie grumbles. “When are we going to the hospital? Do we have time for pizza?” 

-

Jamie wakes up from surgery to a nurse quietly puttering around the room and Jordie facetiming with their mom next to his bed. 

“Oh, hold on mom.” Jordie says, and then he’s leaning on the bed and propping up his phone so Jamie can see.

“Hi, mom.” Jamie mumbles. His voice doesn’t sound right to his own ears and Jordie giggles next to him. 

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” His mom asks. She has her hands pressed over her heart and the fuzziness of the connection is hurting Jamie’s eyes.

“I’m not sure.” Jamie finally says. He leans his head back and closes his eyes and Jordie sighs next to him. 

“The doctor said the surgery went well.” Jamie can hear Jordie say. “We have to hang out here for a couple of days and then they’re doing the other hip.” 

“Are you boys going to make it home eventually?” Their mother asks. She sounds far away but so does Jordie even though Jamie can feel him leaning on the hospital bed next to him. Jamie opens his eyes and pokes Jordie’s elbow. 

“Wake me up for the next surgery.” Jamie snuggles back into the pillows. Jordie laughs loudly and Jamie wants to tell him to be quiet but he’s asleep before he can work up the energy. 

-

Jamie gets back to Dallas around the time Worlds actually starts. He’s still a little groggy and he hates having Jordie push him around in a wheelchair, but the pills the doctors gave him are great, so he’ll be fine. 

Jason’s waiting at his house with take out and ice cream Jamie sits on him couch with a box of food and watches CSI while Jason and Jordie talk quietly in the kitchen. 

“How you feeling, Chubbs?” Jason throws himself down on the couch and Jamie’s rice bounces out of the box and into his lap. He whines softly and glares at Jason before turning back to his show. He pushes the rice onto the floor before remember that there is no dog to eat it. He frowns at the floor. He’ll ask Jordie to clean up later.

“Jamie’s fine, he’s just feeling sorry for himself.” Jordie pulls Jason into his side as he sits down.

“Yeah, but that’s not new.” Jason shoves Jamie gently and Jamie shushes them. They quietly watch CSI until Jamie is pretty sure he knows who the killer is. “I told Spez we’d watch his game.” Jason says finally. 

“When is it?” Jamie reaches across Jason to grab the ice cream from Jordie. 

“I don’t know. Time zones are confusing.” Jason shrugs and Jamie curls up in the corner of the couch. 

“I’m taking a nap.” Jamie states. Jason sighs but Jamie can hear him leading Jordie to one of the guestrooms. They take the one on the bottom floor, which is good since Jamie doesn’t want them in his room and he doesn’t want them in Tyler’s room either.

-

There’s about a hundred messages in the group chat when Jamie wakes up, all of them congratulations Tyler and Spez and Cody on the game Jamie apparently slept through. He googles the score because he’s a captain, even in the off-season. 

There’s a selfie of Tyler with all of Team Canada in his snapchat story. He hasn’t replied to anyone in the groupchat. Jamie feels way too desperate, watching closely for any clue that Tyler’s happy and okay. 

Jamie spent most of his time in the hospital racking his brain for some clue. He remembers Tyler at the season opener, at Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s Eve. They spend so much time together and Jamie can’t pinpoint where Tyler was faking being happy. Tyler was trying to tell him something and Jamie didn’t notice until Tyler threw it in his face. Now he just doesn't understand. 

The team won 6-1 and Spez scored two goals. Jamie puts a few random emojis in the groupchat and goes looking for his brother or food. 

He has to hobble around the house on his crutches and Jamie hasn’t completely figured out how he’s going to get up the stairs to his room yet. Jamie’s determined to learn though, because he’s not spending the next month sleeping on his own couch. 

Jason’s sitting at the kitchen table, his laptop open to some flash game he’s furiously clicking away at. 

“What are you doing?” Jamie grumbles. 

“I don’t know, Chubbs, I’m bored. Jordie’s asleep, you were asleep, I’m not hungry.” Jason frowns as a buzzer sounds in his game. “I used to play this as a kid, and I never could win. I thought maybe I’d be better at it now, but. Maybe I’m just out of practice.” 

Jamie waits while Jason loses another game. “Will you make me waffles?” 

“Make your own damn waffles.” Jason snaps, glaring at his screen. 

“My hips hurt.” Jamie pouts, burying his face in his arms. 

“Oh, here we go again.” Jason rolls his eyes. “Syrup?” 

“Peanut butter?” Jamie pulls his phone out again and opens his messages with Tyler. Jamie’s texted but Tyler hasn’t replied since before he turned five and then twenty-three again. He’s been missing Tyler for months now and it’s not getting any easier. 

Jason places his waffles in front of him. He puts his chin in his hands and watches Jamie eat. 

“There’s something different about you lately.” Jason says. 

“Did you ask Jordie out or was it the other way around?” Jamie asks. He tears off a piece of his waffle and puts it in Jason’s outstretched hand.

“I asked him out.” Jason smirks. 

“He said, about a week after you moved in with him that he didn’t want to freak you out. You were still new.” Jamie remembers Jordie offering to help Jamie move into the new house but really spending the whole time lying on the couch, whining about how pretty and unattainable Jason was. 

“Yeah, I knew. Jordie thought he was so good at hiding it but it was super obvious. He put the monkey emoji next to my name in his contacts and everything.” Jason smiles widely, and Jamie throws a bunched up napkin at him. 

“I talked him out of playing hard to get a couple times, so you’re welcome for that.” Jamie says and Jason snorts. 

“Even if he had, it wouldn’t have worked. No one in the Benn family is very good at hiding their emotions.” Jason points to the phone Jamie doesn’t remember pulling out of his pocket again. Jamie stares at his background, a selfie of him and Tyler at the rink, Tyler tucked against him while Jamie skated. “You should call him.”

“He’s busy right now. And I don’t think he wants to talk to me anyways.” Jamie shrugs and Jason sighs.

“C’mon, Chubbs, you should get some sleep. I’ll help you up the stairs.” 

-

Worlds ends while Jamie is in rehab. He has a wide rubber band around his hips, stepping slowly from side to side, while the team trainer watches carefully with a frown. Jordie’s on the other side of the gym leisurely climbing a stair machine while Jason lays in the middle of the floor. 

“Alright, Benn. Ten minutes on the bike and you’re done for the day.” The trainer claps Jamie on the shoulder. 

“Thank god, I’m starving!” Jordie calls. 

“You two,” the trainer starts, rounding on Jordie and Jason, “should really be working while you’re here. You don’t want to be behind at training camp.”

“It’s May.” Jordie says.

“We’re trying not to make Jamie feel bad.” Jason adds.

Jamie puts his headphones in and gets on his bike. He gets a notification of the final score, 6-1, Tyler and Cody both got a goal. 

Jordie pulls one of his headphones out. “You see the score?” He asks. Jamie nods. “Pretty cool, right?” 

“Yeah.” Jamie says with a huff. Rehab’s a little tougher than he thought it be. “Really cool for them.”

“Don’t be bitter, Jame.” Jordie shakes his head at him.

“I am not bitter.” Jamie pushes his sweaty hair off his forehead. His hips ache and his heads a little foggy and he wonders how Tyler is feeling right now. 

“You’re always a little bitter, but that’s okay, it’s not so annoying anymore.” Jordie smiles and Jamie fights not to grimace. 

“I’ve got another two minutes and then we can get pizza or some shit.” Jamie shoves his headphones back in and ignores the look on Jordie’s face. He gets two full minutes of peace before Jason and Jordie drag him to Whataburger.

-

Jenny and their parents met Jamie and Jordie in Vegas. Jamie doesn’t mind Vegas. It’s not his favorite city in the world, but he doesn’t mind it. He’s not a very good gambler, but he insist on trying, so Vegas can be a little dangerous for someone like Jamie. 

But he puts on a nice suit and lets a stylist do his hair. He tries to look comfortable and smile and the league officially give him the Art Ross. Jamie spends most of the awards texting Jordie while the cameras aren’t on them and wondering what kind of suit Tyler would wear to the awards. 

The shows over before Jamie can get too annoyed with the whole thing. He stays up late, motoring around in one of the hotel’s power scooters and playing slots with Jordie and Jenny. In the morning, they go to brunch with their parents and drink too many mimosas. 

They group hug at the airport before Jamie and Jordie head back to Dallas. 

“Sorry I’ve been so mopey lately.” Jamie says on the plane. Jordie looks up from scrolling through his kindle and cocks an eyebrow. “I was just, like bummed, about…”

“Yeah, no. I know.” Jordie nods quickly and pats his knee. “I know I give you shit but you don’t have to, like, explain anything to me.” Jamie smiles and Jordie hands him the kindle. “I’m too hungover to look at this. I’m taking a nap.”

Jason’s waiting in the driveway when they get back to Jamie’s house. “Close your eyes, I got you a present.” 

Jason puts his hands on Jamie’s shoulders and carefully pushes Jamie forward. “You didn’t sell my stuff or paint everything green or something else stupid, right?” 

“No, no. I mean, it is stupid but whatever.” Jason stops him when they’re in the foyer of the house. “Okay, open your eyes!” 

“A scooter?” Jamie groans. “What did you buy an electric scooter for?” 

“For you! So you don’t have to walk around on your crutches all the time.” Jason smiles widely and gestures to the scooter like Jamie somehow missed it. Jordie walks in behind them with their bags. He stops when he sees the shiny green scooter in the middle of the living room. He laughs loudly and pecks Jason on the cheek.

“It’s beautiful.” Jordie says wistfully. “What are you going to name it, Jame?”

“You know, I’ve only got a few weeks of rehab left. Like, I hardly even use my crutches anymore.” Despite himself, Jamie sits down on the scooter and runs his hand over the handlebars. He always wanted one of these things when he was younger but his mom was worried he’d crash it. 

“Okay, so maybe I leased it. Whatever.” Jason shrugs, his arm naturally resting around Jordie’s waist. 

Jamie names the stupid scooter Stanley.

-

Jim finds him at the Stars Center after one of his rehab sessions. 

“Jamie, I was hoping to catch you.” Jim clasps his hand warmly. “Can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure, that’s fine.” Jamie follows Jim to his office.

“We want to keep you in the loop, Jamie.” Jim says. He learns forward on his desk and clasps his hands together. 

“What’s going on?” Jamie asks. Everyone on the team knows Jim’s style by now.

“Nothing’s set in stone just yet.” Jim says gently. 

“Who is it, Jim?” Jamie mumbles. 

“Trevor and Ryan. To the Blackhawks. We’re just waiting for the paperwork to go through.” Jim sighs and Jamie leans back in his chair. “We didn’t want you to be blindsided. We’ll tell the rest of the team and organization soon and then we’ll release a statement after that.”

“You talked to Trevor and Ryan?” Jamie mumbles.

Jim nods. “Ryan seemed excited. Trevor didn’t but he understands.” 

“Okay, well. Thank you for letting me know. I’ll, um, I’ll make sure to talk to both of them.” Jamie says softly. 

“Thank you, Jamie, that would be very helpful.” Jim smiles but even he seems sad. Jamie know how much Jim hates trades. He wants the team to be a family. Trevor’s been with the Stars since before Jamie was even drafted. 

“What about you, Jamie?” Jim asks and Jamie shrugs. “Are you doing alright?” 

“I’m fine. Hips are feeling okay. Just taking it slow.” Jamie replies. “I’ll be okay by opening night.”

“And everything else?” 

Jamie huffs slightly. “I mean, it sucks, not making playoffs. But. Nothing I can do about it now. I’m just trying to be ready for next season.” 

“Okay, Jamie.” Jim says patiently. “Is Jordie here to pick you up?”

“Uh, yeah, he should be.” 

“We’ll talk soon, Jamie.” Jim smiles again before turning to his computer. 

Jordie’s waiting in his pickup in the garage. “Took you long enough.” Jordie grumbles. 

“We need to make dinner tonight.” Jamie rubs his hand over his face and groans. 

“Yeah, sure. I think we have a box of pasta left.” Jordie hands him a frappuccino and takes a long drink out of his own. “Or we can just order pizza, like usual.” 

“I’m inviting Trevor over. He’s getting traded. To Chicago.” Jamie licks some whipped cream off his straw. “Ryan too, but he always wanted to play for Chicago so he’s probably thrilled.”

“Man.” Jordie strokes a hand through his beard. “This sucks. We’re losing Dales? This sucks.” 

“So you’ll help me make pasta?” Jamie asks. “And I think I’ll ask Jason to pick up some cheesecake or something.”

“Okay, Cap. Whatever you want to do.” Jordie shoves his shoulder and Jamie slouches down in his seat and sighs. 

-

Trevor immediately knows why he’s calling. “It’s okay, Jamie.” He says. “I’m not mad or anything.”

“Come over for dinner anyways? We have, like, garlic bread.” Jamie offers lamely. 

“Sure, I’ll bring Kristy. We’ll be there in about an hour?” 

Dinner is tense. Trevor and Jason try but the rest of them are quiet. Kristy looks like she’s been crying. 

“Okay.” Jason finally says. “I’m going to grab the cheesecake and why don’t we let the Cappy do his sad Captain thing.” 

“I’m sorry.” Jamie mumbles once Jason and Jordie have cleared out. “I didn’t mean for this to be so weird.”

“It’s fine, Jamie. I’ll miss it here and I’ll miss this team but it’s okay.” Trevor drinks the last of his beer. “It’s not all on you, Chubbs.”

“What are we going to do without you, Dales?” Jamie croaks. 

Trevor smiles. “You’ll be okay, Chubbs. And I’m just a call away if you need some fatherly advice or something. Don’t take me out of the group chat just yet.”

Jamie laughs sadly. “No way. You’re never getting rid of us.” 

“Good.” Trevor stands and pulls Jamie into a hug. “We should get going. We’re going to take the kids down to Chicago, try to get settled before the season starts.” 

“Let me know if you need anything.” Jamie offers as they walk into the living room, where Jason and Jordie are still trying to cheer Kristy up.

“You can let whoever is replacing me know that they can rent my house?” Trevor joked. He eats the last bite of cheesecake off Kristy’s plate. 

“Sure thing, Dales.” Jamie breathed. “Good luck.” 

Then they were out the door and Jordie was patting his back gently. “This offseason sucks.” Jamie proclaims.

-

Jamie put his crutches in the front closet and makes Jason take Stanley back to the shop. He doesn’t think he could play a hockey game tonight, but he can walk around the neighborhood on his own just fine. Jamie considers this progress and to celebrate he finally goes to Tyler’s room. He hasn’t looked at the room since the night of the Art Ross game, before Tyler took his dogs and left. 

The bed’s made and Victor’s sitting in the middle. Tyler’s drawings are still tacked up on the walls and his clothes are still hanging up in the closet. There’s a Stars beanie on the bedside table and the dog beds Jamie forgot to give back to Tyler and in the corner. It’s exactly the same as the last time Jamie was in Tyler’s room, except Tyler’s gone. Jamie sits on the side of the bed and grabs Victor. 

It’s not like Jamie wanted to keep Tyler a child forever. He’s glad Tyler grew back up, glad Tyler can play hockey again. It’s just that Tyler left so quickly, before Jamie could really understand what was happening. Jamie doesn’t want Tyler to be a child again, but he wants Tyler to come back, into his space and into his life.

His phone buzzes with the trade announcement. They get Patrick Sharp out of it. Jamie lays down and takes a nap.

-

There’s a press conference welcoming Patrick to the team. Jamie remembers the press conference for Spez and the press conference for Tyler, where they also announced Jamie’s captaincy. He remembers reading out the prepared statement from PR and listening to Tyler lie about being excited for the opportunity. Jamie wonders if Tyler stopped lying or if Jamie just can’t tell anymore. 

Jamie drags Jason with him, since he can’t convince Jordie to wake up long enough to drive him around. Jason drinks his mocha and chatters happily about Niemi coming to the team and Jamie feels optimistic for the first time all offseason. He doesn’t know Tyler will be at the press conference until he walks in.

“Dude,” Jason hisses, “now’s your chance. Go talk to Tyler.”

“What? No.” Jamie shakes his head. “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Yeah, okay Jamie.” Jason scoffs. “We have to sit next to him anyways.” Jason lead the way to the front of the room, where Tyler is sitting on his phone. “Hey Seggy! Congrats on the gold.”

Tyler’s eyes light up when he sees them and he stands to hug Jason. “Thanks, man.” Tyler’s beaming and Jamie can’t look away. “It was kind of a crazy time. Missed you guys though.”

Summer always agreed with Tyler and Jamie thinks he’s justified in how distracted he is. Tyler’s smiling warmly and his cheeks are pink. He’s kicking his legs out and fiddling with the hem of his shirt, like he’s bursting with restless energy. He turns his attention to Jamie and Jamie freezes. 

“Hey Benny. How are the hips?” Tyler smiles gently. 

Jamie’s still trying to think of an answer that doesn’t sound too self-deprecating when Jim walks up on the stage, Patrick behind him. 

“We’ll talk after?” Tyler whispers. Jason flops down in the aisle seat and Jamie sits on the other side of Tyler.

His hips feel good today, not too much pain or stiffness, but he’s holding himself close to keep from falling into Tyler’s space. He’s still sweating from riding through Dallas with the windows down, and Tyler’s so warm next to him, but it just feels good instead of uncomfortable. Tyler leans into Jamie’s side, their knees knocking and shoulders pressed together. Jamie smiles to himself and links his fingers together to keep from grabbing Tyler’s hand. 

Jason leans back in his chair, yawning loudly as he stretches his arms up and around Tyler’s shoulder to flick Jamie in the ear. Jamie glares and Jason raises his eyebrows, staring pointedly at where Tyler is knocking his knuckle against Jamie’s wrist bone. Tyler giggles from behind his hand. Jamie can’t look away until Jim clears his throat and frowns at the three of them from the stage. Patrick’s saying something about the support of his new teammates and Jamie feels he really should be listening. 

The press conference takes less than fifteen minutes. There’s pictures taken and interviews and Jamie shakes a lot of hands, and then Jim’s calling the team over to formally introduce them to Patrick. 

Jamie’s met Patrick Sharp before. He’s a good guy, a great player. They were teammates in Sochi and that worked out for everyone. It’s a little different now that Jamie’s technically his captain but Patrick seems adaptable. 

Jim leads Patrick over once he’s finished repeating how excited he is to be in Dallas in his last interview. He’s still wearing the victory green jersey he put on for the press, and Tom makes them take a photo all together. Jamie thinks they probably look ridiculous, but Jim and Tom seem pleased.

“I’ll let you boys get acquainted.” Jim pats Tyler on the shoulder as he leaves. 

“Jamie.” Patrick reaches forward to shake his hand. “Good to see you again.” 

“Hey man, glad to have you here.” Jamie tries to put on his calm captain voice but it’s a little harder than it usually is. “You know Jason and Tyler, right?”

“Yeah, you remember me, I punched you in the face that one time?” Jason laughs and punches Patrick in the arm as Spez weaves his way through the crowd to them. 

“Sorry I’m late, boys.” Spez pulls them all individually into a hug, the way he does on the ice after a win, before shaking hands with Patrick.

“Late? Spez, you missed the whole thing.” Tyler scoffs. “At least have the courtesy to show up for some of the meeting, what’s wrong with you?”

“Lindy will never forgive you when he finds out.” Jason says wistfully. 

“Congrats on the gold, man.” Patrick moves to stand by Jason. 

“Thanks! The kids are still mad we wouldn’t let them miss school to see us win, but they’ll get over it.” Jason snorts as he talks and Jamie wonders what that sounds like to people who don’t know him. “Did you make it here okay? I can show you the shortcuts through the city, if you want?” 

“You know,” Tyler mumbles to Jamie, “I won a medal too.” 

“You did good. And at least we don’t have to worry about Sharpy being a loner or anything.” Jamie’s practically beaming at where Spez and Patrick are chatting excitedly to each other. 

“It’s okay, y’all are still Dallas’ favorite duo.” Jason throws an arm around both of them and pulls them close. 

“Can we get lunch or something?” Tyler asks. “I really did miss everyone.” 

“Sure, I’ll call Jordie.” Jason steps away, already grinning at his phone. 

“Spezza, Sharpy. We’re getting lunch, wanna come?” Jamie asks. 

“We’re getting pizza, you love pizza, Spez.” Tyler sings. 

“Apparently we’re getting pizza.” Jamie huffs. 

“Don’t start with me, you also love pizza.” Tyler chirps.

“Yeah, but we always have pizza.” Jamie protests.

“Thanks, guys, but I’m going to show Patrick around town a little bit.” Jason turns back to Patrick. “I don’t know if you’ve found a place yet, but there’s a couple nice houses in my neighborhood for rent if you’re interested.” 

“Yeah, that’d be awesome. We want to be close to a school though, so the kids can walk.” Patrick answers. 

“I understand completely.” Jason nods seriously. “Oh, Jennifer wants to host the team barbeque if that’s okay?” 

“Can I bring the pups?” Tyler bounces on his heels. “You know the barbeque is their favorite.” 

“Yeah, bring the pups, Segs.” Jason grins. “See you boys, soon.”

“Good to see you again.” Patrick shakes Jamie’s hand again before following Spez out.

Jason comes bounding back up to them. “I’m going to pick up Jordie and met you guys wherever.” 

“Great, see you at So & So’s.” Jamie tosses Jason his keys, ignoring Jason’s grumbling about pizza again. “Which car did you drive?” 

“The Jeep, why?” Tyler asks, leading him to the garage.

“I can’t get into the Mas right now.” Jamie confesses, climbing into the passenger seat carefully. Tyler’s jeep smells like dogs and fast food. 

“Oh yeah, you never told me how the hips are.” Tyler starts the car and fast rap immediately starts blaring through the speakers. 

Tyler jumps to turn it down and Jamie laughs. “The hips are good. I don’t have the full, like, range of motion yet but it’ll come.” Jamie pulls his spare sunglasses out of Tyler’s glovebox. “I’ll be ready for opening night.”

“Okay. But you’re okay?” Tyler mumbles. 

“Yeah. I’m fine. You know me.” Jamie shrugs and Tyler nods. They’re quiet, listening to the music and Tyler’s drumming on the steering wheel. “What have you been up to since Worlds?” 

“Oh, you know.” Tyler starts. Jamie holds back from snapping, since he has no idea what Tyler’s been up to since he turned twenty-three again. “Spent some time in Europe which was cool. And then I took the dogs up to Toronto. Went to Vegas and Boston for a bit. Did some promo. You know how it goes.” 

Jamie wants to ask what’s really going on with Tyler but he’s a little worried what the answer is. He doesn't know what’s going on in Tyler’s head, what he doesn't trust Jamie to know. Jamie just knows that Tyler’s talking now, even if he’s not saying what Jamie really wants to hear, and Jamie’s going to enjoy it. He likes being around Tyler, he likes talking to Tyler, he likes listening to anything Tyler wants to tell him. He’s just worried. 

Jason and Jordie are already inside when they get there, sitting at a table near the front. Jordie’s resting his head on Jason’s shoulder like he’s somehow still asleep. 

“Sup, Segs?” Jordie yawns as Tyler and Jamie slide into the booth across from them. 

“Hey, Darth, working hard?” Tyler giggles. 

“He’s been asleep for ten hours.” Jason complains. “Wake up, what are we ordering?”

Jordie opens his eyes finally and looks at Jason. “Pizza, right? Aren’t we getting pizza?”

“Oh dear. Go back to sleep, I’ll do it.” Jason leans back in the booth and pulls Jordie into his side. 

“When do we get a pizza named after us?” Tyler wonders. 

“You? Or the team?” Jason asks.

“Well, Jamie and I are Dallas’ favorite duo.” Tyler places his hand on his heart and leans into Jamie’s side. “There would be so much cheese on our pizza.” 

“Hey boys, “ their usual waitress calls, placing a water in front of each of them, “the usual?”

“Extra cheese, please?” Tyler adds. 

Jamie shoves a breadstick in his mouth and ignores Jordie laughing at him.

-

Tyler leaves from So & So’s to the airport. “The sisters will be pissed if I don’t visit again, plus the pups are still with my mom. On, and I’ve got more promo stuff to do.” 

“Aren’t you popular?” Jason teases, pulling Tyler into a hug. 

“See you at media day, I guess.” Jordie shrugs and flicks the brim of Tyler’s hat.

“Bye Arty.” Tyler drawls, wrapping his arms around Jamie’s shoulders. “Take it easy, okay?”

“I will. Hug the dogs for me.” Jamie gently pushes Tyler towards his car before he can do something really dumb, like ask him to stay. 

Jamie spreads his legs out in the backseat of his own truck, listening to Jordie turn through the radio before settling on a country song. He watches downtown Dallas out the window as best he can as he slouches down in the seat, his chin tucked into his chest.

“You’re being ridiculous!” Jason shouts, glaring at him in the rearview mirror. 

“What did I do?” Jamie wonders softly, pulling his shoulders up. 

“Tyler! He was all over you today, he’s been all over you since he came to Dallas.” Jason bangs his hands on the steering wheel as he talks, accidently beeping the horn at innocent pedestrians. 

“How would you know, you weren’t even there.” Jamie interrupts. 

Jordie scoffs. “The whole league knows.”

“Thank you, Jordie. Everyone knows Tyler has a giant crush on you and you have a giant crush on him. What are you doing, man?” Jason demands.

Jamie pouts and stares intently out the window. “What are you yelling at me for?”

Jason sighs loudly. “You’re being an idiot, Jamie. You’re, like, denying yourself the chance of being really happy or something. All you have to do is talk to Tyler about feelings but you won’t.”

“But,” Jamie mumbles, “I don’t want to lose him.”

“You won’t, Jame.” Jordie mutters. 

Jamie thinks about Tyler’s hands resting on his back and Tyler looking past him before leaving for Worlds.

“Let’s try it this way, Chubbs.” Jason stops the truck in Jamie’s driveway and turns to look at him. “How have you been feeling lately?” 

“Fine. Good. The hips are okay.” Jamie insist.

“Not the hips, you. How are you?” Jason continues patiently.

“I mean,” Jamie starts, “no offense, y’all are family, but. It’s a little lonely. Like I’m stuck.”

“Okay, good. So who’s missing?” Jordie persist. 

“I get it, okay. I know I’m happier or whatever when Tyler’s around. That doesn’t mean I can tell him that, it’ll freak him out.” Jamie insist. 

“Just think about it?” Jason asks.

“I’m gonna go take a nap.” Jamie responds. 

-

Jamie tells PR that flying to Toronto would be bad for his hips to get out of media day. Tom glares at him but makes some phone calls while Jamie quietly drinks his smoothie. By the end of it Tyler’s doing media day and Jamie has some interviews around Dallas scheduled for later in the week.

Tyler calls while Jamie’s driving home. “You’re lucky I’m already in Toronto.” Tyler says before Jamie can even say hello.

“But you love media!” Jamie quips. “And my hips hurt.”

“No they don’t.” Tyler grumbles. “I was going to show you off season Toronto.” 

“That’s okay, I’ve seen off season Toronto before.” Jamie says. He can hear the dogs barking in the background and Jamie wonders if he should mention that he forgot to give back their leashes.

“Yeah, but not with me.” Tyler says. There’s a crash from Tyler’s end of the call and Jamie winces. “I’ve got to go, Cash saw a squirrel in the backyard. I’ll call you later, tell you all the stupid questions they asked me?” 

“Bye Tyler.” Jamie hangs up and then it’s just the sounds of the mix CD Jason made filling the truck. 

Jamie didn’t know it was possible to miss Tyler more than when Tyler grew up and left, but here he is. Tyler calls almost everyday since he was in town for Patrick’s press conference, and Jamie always has a text or a snap waiting for him. They’re talking as much as they do during the season, but it’s different when Jamie can’t see Tyler, when Tyler Isn't living in his guest bedroom. He should be happy Tyler’s not ignoring him anymore, but he’s still moping around the house.

“Poor, sad cow.” Jason sighs.

“Stop that.” Jamie snaps but Jason ignores him. 

“It’s hard to watch, honestly.” Jason throws himself down on the couch, a bowl of ice cream in his hands. “Seriously, man, you only smile when you’re on your phone. You want to put the pinning on hold for a bit? Me and Jord are getting in the pool.”

“Leave him alone, Jace.” Jordie strolls in from his room, covered in sunscreen and with a towel over his shoulder.

“I am not pinning.” Jamie adds.

“Just get in the pool with us!” Jason whines. “Come on, it’ll be good for the hips, yeah? Training camp is coming up, you better be ready, Captain.” 

“Fine, but only because it’s really hot today.” Jamie chucks a throw pillow at Jason’s face and jogs up the stairs before Jason can retaliate. “I’m not pinning!” He calls back down to them.

“He’s got it bad.” Jordie tells Jason and Jamie fights down a groan.

-

Jamie’s the last on the bus, partly becauses he’s trying to convince Lindy that he’s ready to train normally. By the time he joins the rest of the team the only seat left is next to Vern in the back. 

“The only reason I’m letting you sit here is because you’re the captain.” Vern says, half of his sandwich hanging out of his mouth. 

“What do you mean?” Jamie asks, sinking gently into the seat.

“Look around you, man. You’re in Dad’s territory. You’re not in this club.” Vern laughs. 

“Well, he’s not a member anymore.” Spez adds from where he’s listening from across the aisle. “If we’re letting Johnny be an honorary member than I think the cap can be too.”

“I’m just here because the only person I know is Sharpy.” Johnny sighs. 

“Aw, Johnny!” Golly pouts, “You’ll always have a friend with the D-men here.”

“You can stay,” Patrick starts, “if you give me your chips.”

“And I want your cookie!” Eaves shouts, leaning over the rows of chairs, his elbow resting on Johnny’s head.

Jamie lets them divide up his lunch how they see fit while he slowly eats his sandwich. “I’ll be back.” Jamie tells Vern, once the bus gets on the highway. “Don’t give away my seat.” He pulls Vern’s hat down over his eyes and ignores his yelling as Jamie makes his way through the aisle. 

“Hey, guys.” Jamie greet, crouching down next to where the goalies have their heads together, playing some game on Kari’s iPad. “Have a good summer?” 

Kari nods and smiles. “We spent the first half in Finland until Abbe wanted to come home. We went swimming a lot until Antti came.” 

Antti takes the iPad from Kari and pokes at it roughly before there’s an explosion on the screen. “Good to meet you, Captain.” He says.

“You, too. I would say to let me know if you need anything, but it looks like Kari’s got you covered.” Jamie says, patting Kari’s shoulder.

“We’re going to carpool.” Antti says with a grin.

“Jamie!” Klinger calls from the front of the bus. “Come say hi to Matty!”

“Got to go.” Jamie tells the goalies before making his way through the bus. 

Klinger says something quick to Matty in Swedish and the pair laughs. 

“John says you are a good captain even though you have terrible hair.” Mattias says with a giggle.

“Klinger! You said you liked my hair!” Jamie exclaims.

“Yeah, when I was a rookie.” Kling shrugs.

“You’re still a rookie.” Jamie states simply.

“Hair is fine, Jamie.” Val buts in, before Kling can jump back in. 

“Thank you, Val.” Jamie smiles at Val, who smirks at Kling. “Now Val doesn’t have to have a road roomie.”

“You don’t get to decide that!” Klingberg yells.

“That’s what you think, rookie.” Jamie teases. 

“Chubbs!” Jason shouts. “We’re playing cards, you in?”

“Be right there.” Jamie yells back before turning to Janmark. “It’s good to have you here. Find me or Fidds or Klinger if you need anything.” 

Klinger mutters something in Swedish and Matty snorts as Jamie walks away. Jamie slides into an empty seat next to Eaks while Nemeth meticulously shuffles and deals the cards. 

“Did you finish your weird captain check ups?” Jordie asks.

“Everyone on this bus at least.” Jamie replies.

“You didn’t check on me.” Rous pouts.

“Or me!” Cody adds. 

“He doesn’t like us as much.” Rous sulks.

“Well, I’m good. So cross me off the list, Jamie.” Hemmer states. “Tyler, it’s your move.”

Tyler has to reach around Rous to play. He’s too far away, just like he’s been all day and all summer. He doesn’t seem different from this time last year, and Jamie wonders if that’s a bad sign. Tyler spent two months as a five-year-old because Jamie couldn’t see whatever was really going on. 

“Alright, Chubbs?” Jason asks with a laugh and Jamie realizes he’s been staring. 

“Fine.” Jamie shrugs and plays a random card. 

Tyler peers at him over the top of his chair, reaching out for him. Tyler stretches his arm out as far as he can, but he stops short just above Jordie’s head. Jamie ignores the way his brother is trying to hold in his laughter and the way Jason is staring and leans forward to get to Tyler. Tyler grabs the snapback off Jamie’s head and puts it on before throwing Jamie his own. Tyler beams at him before sitting back in his seat. Nemeth wiggles his eyebrows at him and Jamie adjusts Tyler’s hat to hide his blush.

-

Jordie pulls the older brother card and drags Jamie out to dinner they’re second night in Austin.

“Can’t Jason go with you?” Jamie asks, one they’re in the backseat of an Uber. He’s still a little groggy from the nap Jordie woke him up from and more than a little sore from a heavy practice. 

“Jason took Tyler out. I think they’re getting burgers so I’m thinking we get mexican.” Jordie replies. He takes a photo outside the window and snapchats it to Jason.

Jamie groans. “What are y’all up to?”

“Divide and conquer.” Jordie states. “Just trying to be helpful.”

Jamie gingerly slides into a booth once they get to the restaurant while his brother throws himself down across from him, already ordering margaritas and appetizers. 

“So what’s this about?” Jamie asks, shoving a chip in his mouth.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. What the fuck, who raised you?” Jordie shakes his head. “This is about you, obviously.” 

“Thanks for the concern, but I’m good.” Jamie says when Jordie looks at him expectantly. “I mean, my legs hurt. I shouldn’t have taken it so easy over the summer.”

“Okay. And have you talked to Tyler?” Jordie asks slowly.

“No. Well, a little. We’re both busy right now, you know?” Jamie pushes the plate of nachos closer to Jordie. “Wait, what is Jason bugging Tyler about? Can’t y’all leave him alone?”

“He’s our friend, we’re worried about him. We’re worried about you, too.” 

“I’m fine. Tyler is probably fine. There’s nothing to worry about.” Jamie says, thinking back to Tyler on the bus and Tyler at practice. He seems fine, but maybe Jamie’s version of fine is different from Tyler’s version.

Jordie takes a long drink from him margarita. “Alright, I’m just going to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” Jamie questions quickly. Jordie runs a hand through his beard and adjusts the snapback tight on his head.

“Tyler came to see me and Jason the night before he de-aged. We had that game against Boston and Tyler went out with Patrice after and then we had an off day, remember? Tyler came over as soon as we got home.” Jordie starts, ringing his hands together. 

“Okay, so?” Jamie interrupts. “Tyler’s around all the time, that’s nothing new.”

“So, he was majorly freaking out. About you, and the team, and himself. He said he didn’t want to lose a team again and that he didn’t want things to change.” Jordie continues, ignoring Jamie. He’s looking only at the table, shifting between their empty plates and where his fingers are tapping rapidly on the table. 

“And you told him things wouldn’t change, right?” Jamie asks.

“We told him things will have to change.” Jordie mutters. 

“Jordie!” Jamie yells. 

“I’m sorry, but just listen, okay? Change can be good, trust me on that. Tyler kept saying that things couldn’t be like they were in Boston. I just, I know everything will work out if you two could just talk about the stuff that’s actually important.” Jordie explains, finally meeting Jamie’s eyes. 

“Boston’s what’s got him messed up?’ Jamie asks.

“No. Well, sort of. You’re not listening, though. You need to talk to Tyler, really listen to what he’s saying.” 

“I just can’t lose him.” Jamie mumbles.

“No one’s asking you to. In fact, I would prefer if you didn’t. You were miserable almost all summer, and I can’t live like that anymore.” Jordie throws back the rest of his margarita. 

“Is this what Tyler was talking about when he said you and Jason were lying to him?” Jamie asks, quietly. 

“We weren’t lying, Tyler just didn’t want to hear it.” Jordie groans. “We should go, Jace and I have a debrief scheduled.”

Jordie’s quiet on the ride back, leaving Jamie alone to remember Tyler skating circles around him in an empty rink in Frisco. Blacker’s sitting in the hotel lobby when they finally walk in, and Jamie has to fight back a groan. He’s sprawled out in an armchair, sharing a bag of chips with Julius. 

“Jamie!” Blacker calls, waving around a can of Coke. “Look, we’re D-man bonding. Julius is going to show me all the good places around Austin.”

“I’ll keep him out of trouble, don’t worry.” Julius giggles.

“Jordie, man, do I feel sorry for you. I had to deal with Tyler all summer, but I bet Jamie was so much worse.” Blacker shoves a handful of chips in his mouth. “But you know Jamie, we can be friends now that you finally got your shit together. It was nothing personal before, I just hate seeing Tyler so bummed but he’s been really happy lately.”

“Yeah,” Jamie mumbles, “I think he’s just excited to be playing again, but it’s nice that we’re not avoiding each other anymore.”

“Wait,” Blacker starts, his eyes narrowing. “You aren’t-”

“What’s going on?” Julius asks looking quickly between Jamie and Blacker.

“Don’t worry about it, kid.” Jordie mutters, patting Julius’ shoulder.

“You know what,” Blacker jumps up. He’s practically shouting now, and Jamie can feel the other people in the lobby staring. “This is fine, I’ll fix it.”

“Blacker-” Jordie starts.

“No! No, I’m not dealing with this anymore. Jamie, you’re coming with me.” Blacker pushes on Jamie’s shoulders until he starts reluctantly walking towards the elevator. 

“Where are we going?” Jamie asks.

“Tyler’s room, obviously. So here’s the plan, you’re going to go in there and ask Tyler why he turned into a child and I’m going to wait in the hallway and make sure you don’t screw up.” Blacker demands. He’s frowning and his arms are crossed. “My battery is fully charged, I can Angry Birds in the hall all night if I need to.”

Blacker bangs loudly on the door, and Jamie watches from behind as some of their teammates poke their heads outside their rooms. 

“Hey.” Tyler greets when he opens the door. “It’s my favorite J’s making so much noise.”

“Can Jamie come in?” Blacker says quickly. 

“Does Jamie want to come in?” Tyler asks.

“Um, yeah. I do.” Jamie replies softly. 

“Thank fuck.” Blacker mutters. “I’ll be out here if you need me.” Blacker pulls out his phone and slides down the wall to sit, somehow keeping threatening eye contact with Jamie the whole time. “There’s nothing to see here!” He shouts at the teammates still lingering in the hall.

“So,” Jamie starts, sitting on the bed. “Everyone’s telling me this stuff and I’m trying not to get ahead of myself until I hear it from you.” 

Tyler deflates slightly and sits gingerly on the bed next to him. He grabs a pillow and clutches it to his chest. “Jesse and Jordie, right?” He waits for Jamie to nod. “Damn Js.” He buries his face in the pillow.

“Tyler,” Jamie starts, pausing to watch Tyler peak out at him, “you’re important to me. I think you know that. Nothing you could say would change that.”

“I don’t even know where to start.” Tyler says, his voice small and muffled. Jamie leans in to hear him until he’s pressed to Tyler’s side. He’s never seen Tyler try to hide from anyone, not even when he filled Jordie’s gloves with spray cheese. He remembers Tyler in his guest room, blanket over his nose and eyes wide as Jordie tried to apologize. This is different, mostly because Jamie doesn’t know what to say to make things better. Tyler was easier to understand when he was five.

“Maybe start with Boston. Jordie said something happened with that.” Jamie suggest.

“I was drunk, okay?” Tyler blurts out, his voice suddenly loud in the quiet space. “Not so drunk that I didn’t know what I was doing, but drunk enough to think it was a good idea. I didn’t even like Marchy, like I didn’t want to date him or anything, but I kissed him anyways. Then he got really mad and told the whole team and they all took his side even though I apologized. Bergy and Chara were the only ones who would talk to me outside of practice and games.”

“Tyler.” Jamie sighs, his hand hovering over Tyler’s back.

“So I got here and everything was, like, perfect. I love this team and I love playing here. And you’re incredible and I feel like we can do something great together.” Tyler raises his eyes from where he’s staring at the ground and looks at Jamie. The tension drops from his body and Jamie finally allows himself to rub Tyler’s back. “I don’t want to ruin it again.”

“You won’t, Tyler.” Jamie murmurs. 

“I will. I already am. Patrice said things are different here and Jordie and Jason said I should just tell you. Even Jesse said it’ll will work out and he assumes the worst in everything. But it turned out so bad with Marchy and I didn’t want anything from him. I want everything with you.”

“What?” Jamie blurts, but Tyler ignores him.

“And then I went down with my knee and I figured if I was ruining team dynamic and I couldn’t play then there’s no use for me. I was in the training room trying to breathe and then I was a five-year-old.” Tyler takes his hat off and runs his hand through his hair. “Sorry about that by the way.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Jamie says and Tyler shakes his hand.

“I’m really sorry.” Tyler protest. “I’m sorry for ignoring you for most of the summer, too. Jason said you were pretty bummed, and I know I should have been around. I just wanted too much, you know? I was trying not to scare you away.”

“What changed over the summer?” Jamie asks. He shifts so his knee is pressed against Tyler’s knee. Tyler doesn’t seem to notice.

“I might as well say it.” Tyler intones. “I missed you. I missed living in your guest room. I figured that having you as a friend was better than nothing. I really am sorry, Jamie.”

“Tyler, don’t be sorry.” Jamie insist. 

“I think you’re not hearing the right parts of this.” Tyler says.

“You’re probably right. I’m stuck on you wanting to date me.” Jamie replies. Tyler’s face falls and he draws in on himself, reducing the points of contact between them.

“Oh.” Tyler says, looking like he’s braced for a hit.

“Yeah, it was kind of a recent revelation for me. I think I knew for sure when I was watching your snapchat story after you won Worlds. I mean, I’ve wanted to be with you since you came to Dallas. It just took me a while to figure that out.” Jamie says, watching Tyler’s face as his words sink in.

“Jamie.” Tyler says on an exhale.

“I should have said something sooner, but you seemed like you wanted to put a lot of stuff behind you.” Jamie shrugs, watching a smile take over Tyler.

“Jamie!” Tyler practically shouts, throwing his arms around Jamie’s neck. 

Jamie knocks the hat off Tyler’s head getting his arms around him and he can feel Tyler giggling against his neck. Tyler presses his nose into Jamie’s skin and grips the back of his shirt tightly.

“We’re dumb.” Tyler mumbles. “Jordie and Jason told me we were being dumb, but I don’t like listening to them.” 

“They’re going to be the worst when they find out about this.” Jamie adds. He turns his face so his lips just barely brush Tyler’s temple, and he can feel Tyler shiver in his arms. “Worth it, though.”

“Yeah?” Tyler asks, pulling back to look at Jamie. He’s smiling so brightly his dimple is popping out and Jamie doesn’t stop himself from rubbing his thumb over it.

“Is it cool if I kiss you now?” Jamie asks instead. 

Tyler nods before pressing his lips to Jamie’s. They’re both smiling too much for it to really count as a kiss, and they both keep breaking away to laugh, but Jamie’s got Tyler’s face cradled between his hands and Tyler’s running his fingers down Jamie’s back. Jamie can smell Tyler’s toothpaste and he wonders if Tyler can taste the sugar from his margarita. 

Jamie finally sneaks out of Tyler’s room a few hours later. He doesn’t want to leave but they still have camp in the morning and Jamie wants to set a good example for the rookies. Tyler kisses his cheek at the door before retreating back into his room, leaving Jamie alone in the hallway.

Jamie turns to go to room before stopping for the roadblock that is Blacker’s fast asleep body. He’s against a wall, head pillowed in his arms and phone on the floor next to him. 

“Blacker.” Jamie sighs, shaking him until he jolts awake. 

“What, what, I’m not late. Leave me alone.” Jesse murmurs, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

“You can’t sleep in the hallway, it’s rude and bad for your back.” Jamie says, pulling Blacker up. 

“You guys good, now?” Blacker asks, stumbling down the hallway behind Jamie.

“Yeah, man. Thanks for your help.” Jamie replies, watching Jesse fight not to smile. 

“I’m telling Julius.” Blacker says, already texting away on his phone. Jamie rolls his eyes and Jesse shoves him into a wall.

-

They have a scrimmage at camp the next day. It’s the first time Jamie’s played in a while, and he’s surprised at how easily it comes back to him. It’s not exactly the feeling of flying he’s used to, there’s still a little soreness in his hips, but Jamie’s got a team around him again and maybe that’s good enough for now.

Lindy’s got him and Tyler on different teams and they take the face off opposite each other. Tyler pokes at him with his stick before the puck drops but Jamie wins it clean and sends the puck back to Kling. Jamie’s not entirely sure what Klinger does from there, too busy trying to check Tyler into the boards, but it somehow results in a goal. Tyler cheers, probably because even with that goal Tyler’s team is winning.

There’s a stoppage in play and Jamie’s talking to Spez on the bench when Tyler appears in front of him, sitting on the wall casually. 

“You know you only won that face off ‘cause I let you, right?” Tyler says. Jason snorts next to him before sliding down the bench to talk to Kling, giving them their space.

“Or I’m a better center than you.” Jamie replies.

“No, that’s not it.” Tyler shakes his head. The lights of the arena reflect off his visor, making his eyes look like they’re sparkling. “But, hey, I meant to ask you last night but I forgot. Are we together now?” 

“I mean, if that’s what you want?” Jamie says. 

“It is.” Tyler answers quickly. “I just wanted to be sure. Sharpy was asking about you and me and I told him I didn’t know exactly.”

“I’ll take you out when we get back to Dallas.” Jamie proposed. 

“This is really good.” Tyler decides. “I mean, I’m really happy about all of this.”

“Good, me too.” Jamie agrees. 

“This is really sweet,” Jordie interrupts, “but if Lindy sees you over here he’s going to make us all do suicides, so go away, Segs.” Tyler whacks Jordie’s ankle with his stick, ignoring Jordie’s yelp of pain to skate away. “I told you so, by the way.” Jordie grunts, rubbing at his ankle.

Jamie ignores him to watch Tyler climb back onto his bench and sit sandwiched between Sharpy and Rous. They clap him on the helmet and Jamie swears he can hear the lilt to Tyler’s voice from where he’s sitting. 

The scrimmage is almost over by the time Jamie finally successfully checks Tyler into the boards. The resulting group hug is worth it, even if Lindy makes them all skate laps after.


End file.
